From Boris the Lion King to Theresa May's P45 - my malarial week at the Tory conference

[Denzil_DC]

The Guardian's Marina Hyde is at it again:

By the end of the Conservative party conference, Theresa May had suffered so many painful betrayals and humiliations that she should have ditched her speech and dropped

" target="_blank">a 60-minute visual album on Tidal instead. A lot of people wouldn’t have begrudged her the chance to stalk along the street in a yellow dress, baseball-batting a few cars.

That, clearly, would have been a show of strength a million miles beyond the prime minister: currently third among equals, dropping down the rankings fast, and agonisingly handed a P45 by a bottom-tier comedian during her own coughed-out conference speech. Even bits of the set were trying to escape. She had already spent four days in Manchester having to suck up all manner of indignities, while Boris Johnson’s address concluded “Let the lion roar!” Thanks, Uncle Scar! But you probably want to wipe Mufasa’s blood off your chin before you get the party faithful to sing along to The Circle of Life.

I lost count of things that were obviously being said for a dare. “We were pleased with the way it went,” judged May’s spokesman of her speech. “I witnessed a great speech from a prime minister at the top of her game,” declared Michael Gove. “That is their cosmic role in life,” explained James Cleverly about Labour, “to screw things up, so we can come and fix them.” Has he been watching the past two years on tape delay? The Tories are like something out of Cowboy Builders: they tell you that you need a new boiler, and by the time they’re done, you’ve got no roof, a sinkhole and euro parity. For the love of God, guys, please stop fixing things.

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But before we go on: the science bit. Last year, the Tories were bedding in for a good 15 years of uninterrupted rule; this year, they were coming to terms with the fact that the bed had been shat. “We had an election that nobody expected to take place,” said party chairman Patrick McLoughlin. The snap election had caught the Tories off guard, May explained to the House magazine, recalling that moment a highly emotional Withnail accosts a farmer and explains: “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake!” The Tories seemed to have called an election by mistake.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/oct/04/boris-lion-king-to-theresa-may-p45-malarial-week-tory-conference