Bruce Rauner Attorney: My Client Should Be Able To Buy Votes Under Citizens United

[Scuba]

OK, it's satire, but still ...


http://www.freewoodpost.com/2014/10/06/bruce-rauner-attorney-my-client-should-be-able-to-buy-votes-under-citizens-united/

SPRINGFIELD, IL — Attorneys for Republican gubernatorial candidate Bruce Rauner argued in court this week that he should be allowed to use his millions to buy votes as part of his campaign.

Citing the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision, lead attorney Ted Olson argued that “Bruce Rauner is rich. Super rich. He’s in the 1%. And the Supreme Court says that money is political speech covered by the First Amendment. So we are saying that forcing Mr. Rauner to buy ads and pay campaign staff is just a pointless farce to enrich television stations, whereas direct payments to voters would be simpler and better for everyone.”

When the judge asked Rauner if he had anything to add, he said “I want to correct my attorney– I’m not some mere one percenter, I’m at least in the top 0.01%.”

Rauner’s team also submitted a plan from Diebold spelling out how voters would only receive payments after their vote was confirmed for Rauner, so as to avoid voter fraud.