Craigslist Musicians Wanted Ad LOL

[savalez]

Ad link: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/muc/3694378560.html

Actual text (No need to click above link)

Dynamic Bass Player Now Available! (Some Restrictions) (N.E.Valley)
Bass Player avaiable for Paying Gigs ONLY. I play G, C, D. If your songs are not in G, kindly transpose them into G. If your song has a Em or Bm or anything equally off the wall, I will probably sit out that chord. Or I could learn those notes for $30 each. If you want me to do fancy stuff like go back and forth between G and D while you hold a G chord, forget it because I'm a "pocket" player.

Minimum $100 per gig within a 5 mile radius of 91331. $5 per mile travel charge for other areas outside that radius. Please make sure all gigs are on a L.A. Metro Bus Route, or you can pick me up at my place. I must be home by 11PM due to previous legal hassles. No gigs within 500 yards of schools, parks, or playgrounds.

Thanks and God Bless.