The Borowitz Report - Democracy Dies in Bezos

[snot]

9. Once again,

our sources are clearly different.

The NYT and other sources have all conceded that that laptop was genuine; the FBI has even introduced some of its contents in at least one court case as legit evidence.

I've also seen no meaningful evidence that any of the people I mentioned have any particular relationship with either Putin or Russia, apart from Snowden's having found asylum in Russia (he hoped to make it somwhere else but was unable to do so once the US revoked his passport).

(I hope we can agree among other things that just because someone criticizes US policy doesn't make them "Putin's stooge." )