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[Trueblue Texan]

182. Thanks for the clarity...

But I need so much more education. I had to look up deadnaming. And that is only one thing. And I want to say here that I respect everyone for who they are, regardless or how they identify, by race, gender, or any other way, but ignorance in this area is socially crippling. It reminds me of how people who are so afraid of being racist won't say the word "black" when there is a black person around.

For example I struggle terribly with the pronoun "they, " for one thing. My daughters often chastise me because I think that "they" is a troublesome pronoun for non-cis (and that's a new term for me, too!) persons. I know I cannot be the only one who struggles with it, although I do my very best to be respectful and sensitive to people who choose to use the pronoun. But to my 65 year old ears, "they" will always be plural. If I invite my trans (now, see I don't know what to call Madison because Madison's gender has changed--Madison was once my niece. What is the appropriate noun now?) oh let me say it another way: If I invite Madison to dinner, for example, this is what a sentence may sound like if I don't really slow down and try to cobble together something that makes better sense--and this isn't easy: I've invited Madison to dinner. They is bringing over the photo album. See? it just doesn't work. It just sounds like I've got bad grammar. But the only alternative I know is to continue repeating Madison's name without any pronouns like I'm advertising Madison for something.

Does anyone know someplace I can go to learn how to refer to transgender persons properly so that I don't sound illiterate or insensitive?