How to Exercise Our Right to Defend Ourselves without Being Victim-Blaming

[ismnotwasm]

As we know all too well, women and girls get tons of useless advice about how to “protect” ourselves. And then whether we follow the advice or not, we’re blamed for our own assaults.

Thankfully, more people are pushing back against these victim-blaming messages and standing up to those who believe we caused our own attacks because of something we did or failed to do.

Increasingly, society is rightfully putting the responsibility for the crime on the person who committed it and not on the person targeted. There is nothing any survivor could do or not do that could “cause” a sexual assault, harassment, intimate partner violence, or stalking to happen.

At the same time, we all have the right to assert our boundaries and defend ourselves. We have the right to unlearn the messages telling us to “stay quiet” and “not rock the boat,” especially in the face of someone hurting us.

But for many people, saying that we can defend ourselves sounds like victim-blaming. It can feel like someone’s saying, “If you just had fought back harder, you would have escaped” or “You should have taken a self-defense class and then you wouldn’t have been raped.”

So how do we reconcile those two messages?

One way is through feminist, empowerment-based self-defense.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/07/self-defense-blame-victims/

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. I am Justified

Feminists are justified in being outraged that much of what passes as “self-defense” doesn’t improve safety and is instead about controlling women’s behavior and access to the public sphere.

What’s more, most of what’s called “self-defense” doesn’t address where the real risks lie.

Those tip lists all focus on stranger danger. But the vast majority of attacks on women, children, and LGBTQ people – the groups most targeted for sexual violence – are by people we know.

That’s why we – as feminist, empowerment-based self-defense instructors –are furious, too.

This is our profession, and we’re insulted to see our principled efforts conflated with victim-blaming misinformation.

[Flatulo]

3. Specifically, what advice would you give to women?

[redqueen]

4. This is awesome

Thank you