Do NOT say Hello To me..

[yuiyoshida]

[Sheldon Cooper]

1. I like her message.

Women know the difference. We can tell when you're being friendly and when you're being a dick. So you guys who are all "What? I'm just trying to be nice!" need to realize that we KNOW what you're doing.

[yuiyoshida]

2. I love her videos

so cute but she makes some brilliant stuff as well.

[randys1]

76. Why was the F word bleeped? I am not a youtube expert

Other than that, if I uninvited said hello to younger Women the way she described, I would feel like a gutter rat.

And my wife would break both of my legs.
Not one, both...

[yuiyoshida]

91. She probably self censored

Herself, as I would imagine she shows her videos to relatives.

[Squinch]

3. "Don't you want to say hello to me?" "No! Who the f* are you? I have things to do!"

Love it!

[redqueen]

5. Can't watch now but I'm really looking forward to it.

Thanks for sharing this!

[yuiyoshida]

6. Some people seem to feel it

will go over better here in this group than in Video & Multimedia, and not sure why that is... one has even said so :http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017204306

[ismnotwasm]

7. Oh for Gods sake

You just got the wrong crowd it looks like. It's a great video, makes salient points. I think the ones who sent you here are, er, overly sensitive when it comes to women objecting to street harassment. Or they just don't want to hear about it. It's a common phenomena and I hope you didn't take it personally.

Thanks for posting, I also love that it was from an pan-Asian voice, the more diversity the better

Have you seen this one?

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/04/guy-hits-on-girl/

[yuiyoshida]

13. LIKE!!

[ismnotwasm]

14. Oh good, I'm glad

I listen to that one every so often-- it's so powerful.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. Thanks for posting this here and, giving me the opportunity to post over there

felt good.

and Cities and Small Towns are of a different mind set and Small Towns in The South are a whole other ball of wax altogether.

[seabeyond]

10. calif we barely made eye contact. texas is much more open to friendly.

they wave at strangers while driving especially on the country roads.

but, that being said. even in the small towns we recognize the difference fo a friendly hello cause made eye contact and a man, interrupting a womens space to place a moment of ownership on her.

as the gal in the video said, we are not stupid.

or, did the girl say that, lol, i am wondering if it is just me saying that.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. yes, even small town females KNOW the difference in HOW something is said ... It all goes back to

Tone. Inflection. Body Language. Gestures. Innuendo. Sincerity. Honesty. Openness.

Friendly vs. Threatening.

and that doesn't matter WHERE at all.

[ismnotwasm]

12. I remember one time a truck turned around when I was walking down the street

I wasn't paying attention-- there were no hoots or hollers. The men in it pulled up at the corner where I was waiting to cross the street. They handed me flowers. That was it. Said "for you" or something and drove off. It was sweet and non-threatening.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

15. "You have crumbs stuck in the crevices of your body."

Stolen. (The line, not the crumbs.)

[ismnotwasm]

16. Like that happens only to women

[A-Schwarzenegger]

18. It's such a human image.

[Flatulo]

17. This young woman has been very priveledged to have been born physically attractive.

I'm sure that she's been extremely put-off by all the unwanted hello-ism I'm her life, but if she had been unfortunate enough to have been born homely or physically deformed, she'd probably be complaining that no one acknowledges her, no one sees her inner beauty, etc.

Like all privilege, the recipient is usually clueless to its existence. But I've spent a lifetime observing how the physically attractive, both male and female, get to the head of the line in amost every aspect of life. As one who was born just plain ugly, I'm eminently qualified to spot this. I've had to work ten times harder to receive one-tenth of the perks that the beautiful folk receive.

Someday this young lady will be old, and her crevices will also be filled with crumbs and lint. She may look back fondly at the days when people craved the favor of her attention.

Personally, I never make any effort to acknowledge beautiful people. I know I'm ugly and scary, and lord knows I would never presume to presume that we're equals in any way. But us plain folk get along just grand with each other.

[ismnotwasm]

19. So you've never seen the comments overweight or unattractive women get?

The "sack on her head" comments or the "roll her in flour and find the hole" jokes? That too, is sexual harassment. Go to the People of Wallmart website and see some of the comments there. There's even porn sites for the disabled, the social-norm unattractive, the overweight.

I do understand your point; people in wheelchairs are ignored by men and women, people with physical deformities are ignored or tormented. Women who age turn "invisible" as far as general sexual desirability, (although I haven't found this to be completely true)

(BTW What makes people think that the old don't bathe? Or that the wrinkles that form are so deep they collect "crumbs"?, that's a cruel comment-- I know it didn't originate from you)

People who are considered plain, which is probably most people, still have their little vanities. But that's not your point. The girl in the video is cute enough, she will probably always be cute, but does that mean she deserves to be sexual harassed? She is saying she doesn't like it, no more that someone with a portwine birthmark on their face would want it pointed out every time they leave the house.

The difference is in thinking that being sexual desired is a complement, occasionally it is. But for women, it's often makes you feel like a collection of body parts, each individually evaluated, not a real person.

[seabeyond]

20. very well put ism. i wasnt sure i wanted to take the time to address, cause there were

different angles to this. you did well. i agree.

[Flatulo]

23. The thing is, just like many of the women here, I have evolved extremely sensitive bullshit

Last edited Thu Jul 24, 2014, 04:49 AM - Edit history (1)

detecting powers from a lifetime of experiences and observations.

What this young woman is saying is, fellas, you're just not good enough to say 'hello' to me.

And let's be clear: as the video points out, we're not talking about catcalls, wolf whistles, HeyBaby, or any of hundreds of pathetic cries for attention.

She's talking about 'Hello' or 'Hello ladies'.

I've seen this a thousand times. Some ugly creepy guy says Hello - just Hello and nothing else - it's whip out the mace, call 911, head to YouTube to cry harassment. Good-looking person says Hello, no problem, Hello yourself.

It's a private club, and plain folk aren't welcome.

Now this person has every right to discount and ignore or be offended by anyone she finds icky, and as she makes abundantly clear, she finds Old People (whatever the heck that is) to be nastier than mouldy skunk vomit. Again, her right.

But she's speaking from a position of privilege, of power, of dominance, based entirely on her physical appearance.

That's the only point I want to make. A major component of the quest for equality is about identifying and calling out privilege, and I'm calling it out here. And let me further re-state: I never engage strange women, either with word or eye-contact or even a glance. I completely understand that I'm old and I'm creepy, and I believe that people deserve their privacy, even in public.

On edit: I don't want to discount anyone's experiences as being trivial, and maybe this woman has indeed been extremely put-upon by street harassment. The thing is, there are posters here who've been beaten, assaulted, raped - and they rightly retain a sense of unimaginable violation. In the Grand scale of things, this woman seems like a bit of a whiner to me.

[ismnotwasm]

25. I suggest you watch the video again

She tells a story of a man saying "Hello Ladies" and when ignored, followed it up with "what, you don't want to say hello?" Trivial? Or threatening? How is she to know? Clearly she is speaking of a sexual subtext, and that is "gross'

Now me, part of my background is the street and I'd give a chin nod and say 'sup-- and keep walking. I'm quick with fuck you, fuck off, and what the fuck is a matter with you if I'm harassed in any way.


In the young woman's case it's NOT just "ugly creepy guys" it could a be group of nice looking young men, a single older man, whatever, relative attractiveness of the harasser does NOT predict behavior.

I have to agree with you about the privilege of people perceived as more attractive, which I think is the whole of you're point, because I'm sure you do not condone harassment, and you seem to speak from a place of pain.

Everyone has privilege, it's a matter of what, and how much.

[Flatulo]

32. I have watched it a few times, and I'm still getting an elitist vibe.

I do get the difference between "Hello" and "Hel-lllooooo", the second being in the style of a player. And no, no man has any right to expect her to stop and engage with them impromptu. Could it rise to the level of a threat? Absolutely, especially under the right (or wrong) circumstances.

I followed the link to her Twitter feed, and I got a completely different sense of her; she seems like a pretty decent (and funny) person. I can't reconcile the YouTube rant with her other online persona.

It's a tough call for women. Returning the greeting could easily be construed as an invitation to flirt, and ignoring it could bring on a more abusive response. You have to quickly judge the right action, and hope the man or men aren't thuggish or drunk.

And you're right about me; I believe we've spoken before about my tough childhood of bullying and rejection. My older brother was a perfect physical specimen - tall, dark and strong and handsome. I was a preemie and almost died at 3 months from an unknown virus. It left me a weakling and a runt. My dad hated that I was who I was. My brother got everything - I got nothing but scorn and contempt.

When we were teens, neighborhood girls would ride their bikes up and down the street in front of my house trying to catch a glimpse of my brother, but they'd laugh at me. My brother was a great guy who protected me and never lorded his health and looks over me, but my youth was still agonizing, and the scars remain.

I don't take my pain out on anyone, but I have become keenly aware of the pretty kids ostracizing the ugly ones. And believe me, it continues until the day you die.

So when I saw that video, I saw a replay of so much of the behavior that broke my heart so many times.

How dare you speak to me.

Who do you think you are?

You don't exist.

You'll never get to know me.

Why are you even alive?

[seabeyond]

34. how about a simple....

hug

[Kali]

53. I just want to acknowlge your compassion here.

I was going to send you a PM, but fuck it. You are a good human, seabeyond. Don't stop doing what you do.

[seabeyond]

68. pain is pain. it does no good to make one less or more. this is hard for so many

cause so many experienced their own horror story.

thanks.

[Kali]

87. I was just reading through and it seemed like the guy was almost there

and I actually felt his pain, and then I saw you did is well. I actually had tears. then he went back to being "that" guy, exactly as RQ had called it. She was right. we are not wrong at all for having the empathy/sympathy and I believe he has real pain, but he couldn't quite make the connection and just feel others' suffering without comparing.

he needs to keep working. he may be good at detecting some things, but his self-awareness is still lacking.

[seabeyond]

89. good post.... thank you kali. too bad. nt

[seabeyond]

35. now, with that, i agree with redqueen and squinch.

this is not about a mans looks, or a mans age. it is about men taking ownership of these young womens sexuality for this moment. an ownership they have no right to. and a moment this young woman says.... no.

she gets the applause. she gets the .... go sistah. i like and want her voice, loud and clear.

[redqueen]

57. How old are you?

How have you managed to turn this basic commentary on one aspect of rape culture (which yes we all know you consider it trivial and unimportant, hence your treatises on this thread) into a lesson on how hard your life has been? How is this now all about you?

I could tell you stories about my childhood and teen years and adult years that would fucking haunt you, but guess why I don't? Because it has no fucking hearing on this fucking thread.

What happens to girls and women simply for being female and out in public is fucking wrong and nobody needs to clear it with every tom dick or harry with a sob story who thinks that their experiences somehow justify telling women to suck it up because you had it worse.

Fucking hell.

Call me a bad person if it makes you feel better. I fucking deplore the self-centered, self-pitying attitude you brought to this thread.

[Flatulo]

58. No.

[seabeyond]

67. and THIS is why we do not try to put one up against another, steps in between, a balanced scale.

all is irrelevant and all is relevant to the whole of the issue. i know you are pissed and you clearly, articulately, aggressively state WHY you are pissed and have every reason to say it out loud and be heard. you are right.

[ismnotwasm]

60. A hug from me as well

[Flatulo]

62. Why thank you kindly, I truly appreciate that.

What some other posters fail to appreciate, is that I've been harmed terribly by the same kinds of male antics, bullying and dominance, that feminists are fighting. I guess some people just cannot stand the notion of a man coming in here and offering up their experiences, and are pathologically compelled to dismiss their experiences as irrelevant.

You're a great lady. I've thought this for a while now.

[redqueen]

63. And some are "pathologically compelled" to make up bullshit about people

rather than directly respond to any points they make.

Enjoy your little pity party.



And yeah every feminist knows it's patriarchal bullshit that caused your bullying. That doesn't mean you get to come in here and shit on a young feminist's video, project all your shit onto her, or make the discussion all about you.

Oh wait. No. You totally can. Because you just did. With a little help.

[Flatulo]

65. I don't even know where to begin with you. I find your posts offensive in so many ways that I can't

even start to tally it without taking a good long time to think about it, and frankly, I don't care enough to do so. But anyone with a shred of honesty knows exactly what I'm talking about.

However, this is your group, and I have no inherent right to be here, so if you want to get me banned, I'll understand and respect the group wishes. What I will not do is apologize for any of my posts, because I find that most people are responsive to truthfulness and honesty, even when they disagree with it.

[seabeyond]

70. but that would be the point. what redqueen is saying is right on. and you wont even consider what

she is saying, which should be an easy one for you.

i think here your post is not so much about "truthfulness and honesty" . you totally brush aside, ignored her own post to you stating her own experiences as you feel others did with you. how do you rank consideration, yet feel you can talk to another poster about redqueen. that is absolutely incorrect and maybe you ought to "consider" what is being said to you for your own growth and lesson in compassion.

[Flatulo]

74. OK, RQ makes the claim that I'm making this thread all about me, but my re telling of my assault

was in direct response to Squinch's post to the effect that I had no idea what it was like to walk in that woman's shoes. So I answered Squinch, then RQ accuses me if making it all about me, while telling the world for the nth time about her own horrors, thereby making it all about her. Ironic?

She then claims that I think it's just fine for men to verbally assault women in the street, which is a total lie, true only in her mind, because I clearly stated in plain English that I thought this was not OK. If she had read my posts she would have seen this. But no, she jumps into attack mode, telling an outright lie about me.

I've seen her do this dozens if times. She doesn't respond to what was actually said, but what she imagines is the worst possible thing that could have been said.

Why would anyone waste their time debating with someone who is so dishonest?

Read through the thread again, if you haven't.

[seabeyond]

77. your initial post, you dismissed this girl cause of her privileged attractiveness and yes, you made

it about your "ugliness"

so no. redqueen did not exaggerate or lie or anything else. that was her point. i further read your posts. where you stated that you went in and watched more of her posts, and you thought better of the girl. but, initially, yes, you dismissed the girl, her experience and the "pretty girls" as a wholes experience.

look. you wrote well expressing your own experience and the pain of it. you also made clear that you did a little rethinking.

you really step over the line saying she is dishonest. you REALLY step over that line.

[Flatulo]

79. Here's an example of RQ's dishonesty...

"There are civilians being murdered in Gaza as Americans cheer for Israel and you're in here whining about how women don't like you. Pot. Kettle."

I never said anywhere that women don't like me. She created that in her mind.

I've stated that I'm ugly, but there was no whine about women not liking me. She imagines she heard me say that, then attacks me for it.

Women like me very much, but they're never attracted to my looks. It takes time to know me, then friendship comes.

[seabeyond]

81. you know what, any compassion i felt, well... you kinda shat all over that. that is such an absurd

stretch to call a person a liar on i cannot even comprehend. how she describes it is how i interpreted yoru post. incorrect? whatever. i am done here. you came in. you did your whine. you sucked some of us in to feel for you. and you shit all over the place stinking it up. done.

[Flatulo]

83. She misrepresented my very clear writing to create a negative impression of me. What do you

call that?

Whatever.

Do what you feel is best.

I'm done with this asylum.

[seabeyond]

84. no. she did not misrepresent shit and if anyone created the negative impression

it was you working really really hard to do just that.

my gosh how the world went topsy turvy in this thread all thru your efforts. you even created the damn asylum you speak of, now run away. do. so the world will right itself.

[Kali]

88. you must have been studying

http://birdofparadox.wordpress.com/derailing-for-dummies-google-cache-reconstruction/#educate

[LanternWaste]

93. I'd call it the same thing...

"...misrepresented my very clear writing to create a negative impression of me. What do you call that?"

I'd call it the same thing as I would your own misrepresented and negative impression of the OP's message. Six of one, half a dozen of the other?

[Flatulo]

66. I would respond to your points, if only you had made any. But no, you went right to your

rant Rolodex and spun the dial. Let's see, make up a bunch of shit the man never said. Yeah, that's the one.

[seabeyond]

71. not true. not true at all. and this is when it is simply enough, walking into the group and being

disrespectful. her point was absolutely valid that you took your experience and dismissed this young girls experience, her voice, cause for you, it did not reach the level of pain your own did. when red tells you she too experienced the horrors in youth, growing up, life itself, which has nothing to do with this young womans voice, you dismiss it.

this, would be disrespectful, right? insulting her thru another post to another poster, disrespectful. the post i reply to, disrespectful.

wrong.

and another point redqueen made, .... we feminists have recognized this aggression and bullying whether to our girls, women or boys adn we are the ones speaking out at a cost to us, for all... so, pretty disingenuous, ya think?

[Flatulo]

75. Why would I waste my time debating a poster who lies about what I've written?

Wouldn't it be safe to assume that they would continue to lie about my further responses?

THAT is disrespectful.

But I don't ask or demand respect. I just ignore.

[seabeyond]

78. now i suggest you flat out delete. or i flat out alert.... and you get a hide for falsely calling

a member in hof a liar. you know. you did not have to go here.

[Flatulo]

80. Alert then.. She's s liar. I've proven it in my last post. The record speaks for itself.

[Agschmid]

82. Class act...

[seabeyond]

86. this one is a wow for me. be nice, get kicked in the face. nt

[seabeyond]

85. i guess redqueen was correct all along and you prove that ism and i were suckers.

what a treat. i will be less willing to give others the benefit of the doubt in the future. thanks for proving me wrong.

[redqueen]

27. Bull. Shit. 100%.

These men are pulling this shit as she and her teenage friends are just walking by and that is fucking harassment. Just as much as a fucking wolf whistle.

And yes, you're goddamned right that IF they had made eye contact and smiled at the guy, signaling interest, that that kind of 'hello' might be welcomed... But your choice to frame that as the guy being 'good enough' is fucked up.

The fact is, people are within their right to determine for themselves who they're interested in and who they're not, and that has nothing to do with you or your bitterness.

It is fucking rich for a male to be whining about people judging potential partners based on appearance. And if you don't know why, well then you need to open your eyes.

You have a lot of fucking nerve to spend a whole post whining about how awful it is that attractive people have it easier, and then pull the 'but other women are beaten and raped so she is just a whiner!' crap. There are civilians being murdered in Gaza as Americans cheer for Israel and you're in here whining about how women don't like you. Pot. Kettle.

[Flatulo]

36. I'm not going to even acknowledge your hateful rant. You think you know me, and you condemn me

in the most vile terms, but I smile because I've felt real pain.

I hope shitting on me has made your day more pleasant.

[Sheldon Cooper]

37. We know you well enough. Your own words give you away.

[redqueen]

40. Don't even try that. I didn't "shit on you" I tore your ridiculous reply to shreds.

What "vile terms" are you referring to?

"I've felt real pain."

Fucking seriously? Do you think you're the only one? Unreal.

[Flatulo]

41. I hope you have a lovely day. The weather is fine here, and I'm going to go out now

and play with my dog.

[redqueen]

43. LOL, yep. I didn't expect you to address a single point.

Same as usual

[Flatulo]

50. You seem to have already made up your mind about me.

Everything I've got to contribute to this thread I've either already said or addressed with ismnotwasm in a follow-up. You can re-read what I wrote, and if your response to me remains the same, then I have nothing else to say to you on this topic.

[Squinch]

31. Ah! The "Others have it worse so shut up" argument! Though you took your sweet time to get there.

You say that you have vast experience of these things, and then show clearly that not only do you have no experience, you are really rather oblivious to what is being discussed here, and you have absolutely no understanding of it.

You say you don't want to discount anyone's experience as being trivial, and then you discount people's experience as being trivial.

This has nothing to do with beauty. It has to do with the need by some random men on the street to make women feel uncomfortable. Women have no trouble telling the difference, though clearly you are unable to tell the difference. These men do it to pretty women and ugly women. They do it mostly to young women who they think will not fight back. This need of these men comes not from admiration but from a feeling if impotence and anger against women in general. This is a milder version of those same feelings that lead men to assault women. Women know this, because most women have experienced that "middle ground" between the catcall and the assault.

Obviously, you have never had the experience of not responding to a "hello," and consequently been followed and berated, or grabbed and shaken, or screamed at from the moment you pass the man until you walk far enough to be out of his sight.

None of these things is a crime. None are EVER reported. None of these things are uncommon.

[Flatulo]

51. You're right, none of those things have happened to me.

However, these are a few of the things that have happened to me:

I've had the living shit beaten out of me a few times. I had my jaw broken. I had my four front teeth knocked out. My parents opted to not pay for repairs because my brother needed the money for college, so I walked around for years looking like an uglier version of Klem Kadiddlehopper. I've been held down by four bigger kewl kids while one of them took a shit right on my face and rubbed it in with a stick, and then the others took turns pissing on me. I've had a cracked rib and a punctured lung.

None of this stuff was considered a crime, just the boys playing. All this stuff really happened because I was small and weak and odd and the opposite of good-looking and kewl.

So yeah, I guess I'm a little unsympathetic to the young woman in the video being bothered by all these creeps saying Hello to her.

My point being that really shitty things do happen to people who in no way deserve it, including to women by men, and to men by women, and to men by men, and to women
by women. And in the big picture kind of way, this young woman hasn't had it so bad.

[seabeyond]

52. you are right. personally, i live a very... privileged life. and still. though the scale may not

be balanced, discussion, knowledge, awareness is a must.

because.... like what this girl experience is a form of bullying, just as yours, certainly not to the extreme, it is bullying. and one and all bullying must be addressed. i do not care how it weighs and scale of balance. ALL must be addressed, condemned. and that is no. no more. no justifying, excusing, rationalizing, .... nada.

cause what happened to you is a fuckin flat out crime. the end. not a single bit of it was boys being boys. it was all about abuse.

one cannot be addressed adn the other ignored cause it all feeds off.....

[Flatulo]

54. The question I have is, how many steps are there between

an un-acknowledged 'hello' and physical assault? I know from experience that there are crazy people walking about unimpeded, most especially young men. I've read about frontal lobe development but whatever the cause, they can turn into monsters, especially in a group. I do believe I came close to being killed more than once.

Maybe all young males need to be kept in boot camp until they're 21, and taught humanity and empathy. Only 1/2 kidding.

[seabeyond]

55. my point is... there are NO steps. because yours feeds into, and hers feeds into yours.

it is not a balancing or weighing, or looking at steps in between.

it is not about one suffering is greater than another

it is a simply. wrong. wrong is wrong. nothing else.

that is how i see it and how we have to address it.

[Squinch]

56. Was it acceptable that those bigger kids were allowed to do those things to you simply because you

were smaller, and they could, and you couldn't fight them off and they had some kind of misplaced aggression that they had to work out on someone, and you happened to walk by? Was that an acceptable situation?

I would say no. Note that: I am saying that was not acceptable. I am not telling you that someone else had it worse so you should shut up. I am not telling you that it was OK what they did because of the way you looked. I am saying it was unacceptable. Period.

And I would say it is not acceptable that misplaced aggression is taken out on women who are minding their business and walking on a city street, either, simply because the person inflicting the aggression is bigger and he can do it without fear of reprisal. When I say that, instead of agreeing that it is unacceptable, you pull out all the tired old saws: " someone else had it worse so shut up," "it is just men being nice," "this isn't what you think it is," "you should appreciate it because you'll miss it when it stops."

I was beat up as a kid by other kids too. It didn't have anything to do with "kewl." It had to do with an aggression problem on the part of those doing the beating. Street harassment has to do with an aggression problem on the part of those doing the harassing.

Do we really need to have a contest about who has it worst? Or can we simply say that kind of aggressive behavior is not acceptable. Even when it is being inflicted on women.

[seabeyond]

72. point. or... she deserves it cause she is privileged attractive. nt

[JI7]

22. none of these things are deserved, it shouldn't matter how one looks. if her looks suddenly changed

for whatever reason and she was not physically as attractive as before it wouldn't be ok to make fun of her or treat her as less than equal just as much as it's not right to treat her as some object .

[redqueen]

29. "She may look back fondly at the days when people craved the favor of her attention."

Fucking wretched.

This is not about 'craving the favor of her attention' as you so nauseatingly put it.

Men who interrupt random women in public because of their boners are being assholes. Full fucking stop. And no, neither I nor the vast majority of women will miss it. It is not a fucking compliment. (Sadly there are some who interpret disrespect and subjugation as flattery, and that small minority of indoctrinated women might. Depressing to think about really but it's just more motivation to fucking destroy the patriarchy.)

Men who are capable of empathy don't pull this shit.

[seabeyond]

39. Sadly there are some who interpret disrespect and subjugation as flattery,

i love this whole post. i love full fucking stop. i am so so so damn tired of men and a few women dependent on outside validation that i will miss it. i am old. i am not suppose to get it any more. i was driving and had a young 20 something lean out the window and yell... i love you. i still get the shit. granted. most of the fuckers do not realize how old i am until they get a good look, then fool you. but there are enough men older than me, that still want to pull the shit.

there is nothing warm about the way i feel when this happens. it is all an anger, a glare and get the fuck out of my face.

one man, when i made eye contact instead of demurely, shyly, looking away, allowing him the access to peruse at his leisure, got so angry. out in a parking lot. and that moment instilled a fear. i saw the hate in his eyes.

why? cause i dared to be in the same space as he? cause i dared to look him in the eye challenging his domination?

fuck him

fuck the creeps that are so weak adn impotent that this is how they feel empowered.

it does not go away. not yet, anyway. and it will not be missed.

[redqueen]

45. People couldn't demonstrate a total lack of empathy any better if they were fucking paid to.

As someone else here said so well, if you tell someone to stop stepping on your toes and they keep doing it, they're getting something out of it.

[yuiyoshida]

21. From Alison

[ismnotwasm]

24. Thank her for me, if you would be so kind

I do apologize for the negative comments on behalf of DU-- there are a few idiots around here.

She is wonderful and I hope she never stops.

[yuiyoshida]

49. I sent her links to the three places

I posted this. She has already sent me a twitter message saying, she was tearing up Didn't expect an over whelming response I guess.

[ismnotwasm]

59. So cool

That's truly wonderful

[yuiyoshida]

64. Yes it is

[seabeyond]

73. ah alison.... keep speaking out, the voice of youth. our world needs it so. do not ever stop. nt

[Evergreen Emerald]

26. I was assaulted for not acknowledging my cat-caller

I was in Italy walking down the sidewalk. I was getting cat calls (there was a street fair and people lining the sidewalk), and I learned that the best way to handle them was to ignore them. I was not very proficient on the language and did not want to get myself into trouble.

I did not see him coming because he came up behind me. He screamed into my ear as loud as he could inches from my face and then pushed me backwards. I did not fall down, but screamed in surprise and fear. He laughed, as did his friends, and sauntered away.

[redqueen]

28. Ooh, let me guess how many men in the area called him out for being a misogynist piece of shit...

Ummmnm... zero?

[Evergreen Emerald]

30. Exactly...I was the piece of shi* for not

swooning appropriately.

[seabeyond]

42. is this a given role for women, cause it is my life. someone does shit, ... and if i dare react,

i am the POS. i see it on du, when responding to some bottom feeding comment. because i dare to respond, i am the POS. i got it with father in law. every fuckin visit he would tell me 1, 2, 3 sexist jokes. look me right in the eye and tell me a trashy joke. 90% of the time i ignored. the few times i spoke up.... respectfully, i am the POS.

i find it in other areas also.

i had never looked at it as a gender thing. but, it is so in my life. both on du, and real life. now i think about it, i am wondering. a gender issue?

[Evergreen Emerald]

92. I think it is about gender

And you are spot on. It becomes backwards: it is not the sexist act that is the problem but voicing the inappropriateness of the act that is the problem.

I had a boss, he was from an older generation, when it was more acceptable--but he used to talk to me about the size of the breasts of the women in the office. I did not complain because I was fresh out of school, saddled with debt, and just starting my career. And that was only a few years ago.

[Sheldon Cooper]

33. Just wait, the day will come when you will miss having these men

"crave the favor of your attention."

[Flatulo]

38. Italy is awful, especially Rome. My sister visited there and had her ass grabbed dozens of times.

Two men would pair up on a scooter and do a quick drive by, and the passenger would grope any women within range.

The buses were even worse. One man slid his hand down the front of her pants.

There's no one to report it to, because the cops think it's a joke.

It's particularly shameful for me, being 100% of Italian descent.

[seabeyond]

44. italy is worse. more misogynist as a culture and society by a long shot, in many ways. a difference

is that people in the u.s. speak up and out about the issues and always has. it is one of the reasons we are not headed the same way as italy and other european countries.

[Flatulo]

46. Don't even mention Japan, especially the commuter trains. Worst place in the world for a woman.

It wasn't until very recently that it became illegal to grope on the train.

[seabeyond]

48. vending machines on the corner of a street that sell soiled schoolgirl undies to grown men so they

can get off a fantasy of young girls.

ya

i know.

got two hides cause of that shit and being told i was not allowed to see it as "ick" or to "shame them" or to hold any moral judgment on grown men buying school girls soiled undies out of a vending machine on the corner of a street.

i get the hides he is tos'ed as a troll. go figure.

[redqueen]

47. How do you think most cops here would react if a woman went up to one and complained

about being groped?

[ismnotwasm]

61. That's horrible

An unfortunate example if the judgement calls so many women have to make on a daily basis

[Flatulo]

69. I wonder how funny his friends would have thought it was if he'd gotten his ass beaten for

assaulting you. I know, not bloody likely in Rome, but you'd be justified in wishing it.

[edgineered]

90. Thank you for making this statement.

It is sad that so many don't understand what you have to say. In treating what you say as something personal about themselves some have missed the whole point, again.

For you guys here that insist on making men look like idiots, let me say this. Your attacks show a lack of courage. Your rebuttals are foolish and make only one person at a time look like an ass; there is no need to say who that person is. Getting a simple message across to you should be easier than this. It is frustrating to witness your lack of support for those smart enough and strong enough to speak up.

[yuiyoshida]

94. Just want to state that the girl in the video is not me.

A few people have sent me their comments about the video assuming, because I am Asian, than this must be me. As I told one person on here, I do keep my photo on all my messages, so some people can clearly see we don't even look alike. (She is Chinese and I am of Japanese decent.) I wish I was smart enough to do my own videos, but many Youtubers have brought it down to almost an art form.

I enjoy Alison's videos and watch her when I get the chance. Both of us are fans of Natalie Tran who does "Community Channel" on Youtube. Natalie is fun to watch as well, as she tends to stay away from controversial topics, and zooms in on Humor.

[seabeyond]

95. Yes. I thought both in text and appearance it was clear you put this video up of

Another woman's voice and yet... People assume

[yuiyoshida]

96. yay!! \o/

[AsahinaKimi]

98. wow! good for you..

I asked her to follow me once, and got silence. Maybe she didn't even notice.. or had no interest. I like her videos and Natalie Tran as well. Asian women doing good on Youtube!

[edgineered]

99. I am very proud of my 25 year old daughter -

it was easy for me to assume it was something she would and could say. She's Philippina.

[edgineered]

97. It was interesting to learn

that some of the symbols in Japanese are the same when written in Mandarin. I don't know which ones and learning Japanese isn't in my plans. Getting used to reading and writing in pinyin is tricky enough and it seems to be in my destiny to live a life of confusion! Regardless, yuiyoshida, you always seem to say things that even I can understand. My family is Asian, except for me, so seeing you free from the typical stereotypes of the east (and west) is a triumph..