We have had some very difficult times

[boston bean]

in the group where we have been maligned, attacked as a group and personally, and stalked around.

We have also have very many great times together, and we have mended many fences from some of the old wars. All of us, not just those in the group, have battle scars that are deep and in some cases still healing.

Seems as though some are offering olive branches, as I have done in the past myself. I am always ready to move forward and work and speak and be kind to all who share the goals that feminism hopes to achieve. That doesn't mean I will agree with everyone, but I would like to have more conversation where it didn't turn into, well... way back when and remember and you are this and you are that....

So, with that in mind, I am always ready and always pleased to let bygones be bygones. And I once again apologize for any hard feelings I may have caused or where I have hurt anyone.

Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop pointing out sexist and misogynistic remarks I find here on DU, and discuss issues from a feminist POV. But I am way more than ready to move the hell forward!

So, let's rock on!

[shenmue]

1. :)

Yes.

[randys1]

2. Dont you dare stop discussing misogyny seen here at DU

if we cant remedy it here, what point in trying to fix the more offensive offenders...

My mother was a feminist in the 60's and 70's. She would tell any man, any time, to kiss off, that she knew more than they did, and she did.

God I miss her.

when she was in her 20's she looked very much like Marilyn Monroe...

[boston bean]

3. Hey Randy! I don't think it's in me to stop! LOL

I may take a little break now and again, because it can become toxic, but hell, somehow I always find a way to keep going!

[randys1]

4. Proud to know you, wish you could have met my mother...

[boston bean]

5. I wish I could have too. She sounds like my kind of people!

[CTyankee]

6. yep, you have to have someplace else to go when it gets depressing as all hell...

I go to art. It relieves my stress and takes me to a different place and that is exactly what I need at the moment...a different, quiet place where I can soar with my feelings and my thoughts...it is transcendent...

[boston bean]

9. Aren't you right. I just immerse myself into reading a good book,

little posting here, and just basically give myself more attention by doing something more enjoyable. Lately it has been gardening, well, because the season calls for it!

Hey, you got any good art that depicts penitence/forgiveness?

[CTyankee]

11. I will think on this and post for you, boston bean, and anyone else...but first...what are we

penitent about?

[boston bean]

14. It's not just about me.

It's about accepting an apology. Maybe that is the best way to put it.

[CTyankee]

16. with grave reservations I will post this

this is one helluva magdalen. She is very powerful and true to her faith. It is by Piero della Francesca.

Of course, it is a complete distortion of the story of mary magdalen, as was the theology of the day, but as usual, art triumphs. She is so powerful and no one can question her...

As a nonbeliever, I must relive art of the past in a kind of denial but yet with a reservation in my mind that I try to resolve. Art, as I say, always save you...but by different ways than the religious believe...

[boston bean]

18. Thanks, but I hope you didn't think I meant for you to find a religious painting.

I can see how the word penitence may have intimated that. However, that was not my intention. I'm a very non religious person.

[CTyankee]

19. No, I didn't but I couldn't think of a non religious one right off the bat. So I went with this.

You have given me something to meditate on, though. Those of us who are non religious, as I am, must have a place to go in art...

Wow, you've given me a whole new perspective on forgiveness/penitence...

please understand, tho, that even if I post religious art, it is from an understanding of what the artist meant at the time of the work, in that world and that point in time. Therefore, we have to separate our feelings about the religion of the time and the artist's creative output...I do this all the time in my art essays (and before in my Challenges). I had to make my peace with this, as a non believer, a while back...

[boston bean]

20. It is so hard to do that because the images are so tightly linked with

a religious story.

But if you deconstruct the religion into how people lived at the time, you can view it through a different lens.

Although in art with Mary Magdalene, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, it's pretty hard to untangle.

[redqueen]

7. K&R nt

[PeaceNikki]

8. you are good people, bean

[boston bean]

12. With people like you around, I'm in like and excellent company!

[ismnotwasm]

10. That's very cool

[boston bean]

13. You folks here are cool!

[boston bean]

21. I suck sometimes too,

but not often.... ROFL!

But that is just one womans opinion, MY OWN! LOL

[seabeyond]

17. doesnt work for me when in apology a person still holds up a few.

or in explaining an apology has to mention the few not liked. or say....

go onto the cousin site and diss us like mad then come back and say .... what???

i do not get into it with the women. they seem to find me on their own. i mostly ignore them. but... i am not doing any fuggin' pretending for whatever reason

when i read nasty from the same people, just the cousin site, that doesnt appease me.

but. i do not have a need to go hunt the women down and confront, either.

i hear you all. respect the reason and what you are saying.

[BainsBane]

22. I see it as about us rather than them

People are who they are. I can't control that. The only person I can control is myself. So I will make an effort to ignore and not engage with the toxic shit. I don't have to like or be friendly with them. Rather, I will devote myself to issues I care about and do my best to waste no more energy on petty bickering. I would be surprised if anything we do or don't do will change their behavior. I had some people on ignore for months who continued to attack me regardless. When I proposed a truce, I had no illusions of establishing any kind of positive relationship with people whose very first post to me and every subsequent once since has been hostile. I can't control who they are. Rather, for the benefit of members of this group, I would like to see HOF used for better purposes and not waste ink on petty disputes. That is a far less gracious approach than Boston's, but it's the best I can do given the circumstances.

[boston bean]

23. I think what you say is quite good.

I too have tried in the past to do the same, but the same old bullshit was flung from long ago disputes, which became quite personal.

I really do not like that, and I really don't like doing it to others. But sometimes it felt like a matter of survival.

But when a branch is offered, I think the best thing to do is accept it and move on and admit ones own mistakes. I'm not sure how much agreement we will have on the actual solutions to the issue, but I do think that with many we agree that there is a problem. Then there are others, all of this will mean diddly squat to, and they will make themselves known sooner rather than later. To that, I think we just need to ignore and try not to engage. But that will be a test for us all. Because some of it is just plain old mean.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

24. what you said is sincere and speaks to your own experience. None of us have the exact same story.

not everyone goes at the same pace.

That is just the way of life.