Being a motherless daughter is one of the most difficult things to navigate.
Last edited Sun May 4, 2025, 09:41 AM - Edit history (1)
Today would have been my Moms' 89th birthday.
I was jolted awake several hours ago from a dream about her.
Today is going to be a challenge.
Edited to add--Couple of yrs back when Mom started getting hurt and going to the hospital more frequently, she & the kids started a phone text group. Most early AMs for at least 5 yrs, there was check in texts, often a simple, "morning".
Mom discovered that she liked sending memes, some were groaned, some were great.
The phone text group is still being used by us. I have already gotten check ins by my siblings, I am greatful for this.
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she loved & enjoying her favorite foods, intentionally?
Have you thought of baking her a bday cake?
I did for my dad's 100th bday. Candles & all. My adult gs & I celebrated our time with my dad this way & it felt good to honor the contributions he made to our lives
My thoughts are with you today.
She'll be there as long as you are alive. She gave you the most precious and valuable thing besides life and that was, time. Her time, to be precise. A non renewable ever shrinking, intangible choice that we all choose how to spend it.
My hope for you is to remember her smile, her laughter and love.
Be well.
She died on the 27th from dementia.
hurtful, but I dread her dying. I have not handled grief well at all in my life, especially recently.
She's in relatively good health, but many of my much younger family members and friends have died in the past few years, so I know there's no way to predict.
I hope your day went more easily than you feared.
First yr, or so - it was oten so fierce. Lean on folks to help you through those bad bouts.
She had an unexpected sort of sudden problem that was very exacerbated by a weird infection's complication about 20 yrs earlier. She was 86. It was extra sad bc 2 of her brothers, and her one sister
lived to about mid 90's w pretty sharp minds.
She was on the smart side, loved science, nature and art, highly creative design wise in crafts, trained as a dress maker - our clothes were superbly made, cared about justice & equality and taught us, excellent cook, loved to have fun.
She shows up in my dreams (though she had terrible asthma at times there'll be a scary dream; usually they're good ones).
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Here's a thought as you feel up to it...get a sturdy notebook, and write down the good, and wonderful memories of her. That way you always have it.
Take each minute, hour, day, week, month at a time.
If you're prone to fighting tears - don't when you're home. Allow grief. It's different for everyone how it unfolds.
[ May seem an unusual example how grieving can happen: I love architecture. At my art & architecture school '70 - '74, we made fun of the original world trade tower buildings 1 & 2.
Then I worked in Tower 2 '80 -'81, 73rd flr (2 elevators!) north east corner. The views were incredible!
9-11: I was heading to the subway from Brooklyn when I found out while I was listening to the radio that the building fire disaster (bc I turned on my walkman around 10 AM) I was listening about and they did Not reiterate that it was The Towers - till both had collapsed. I ran back home, cried hard into my pillow then totally stopped.
It wasn't till I got to U2's first concert in NYC in sometime ? mid Oct (pre scheduled tour) that as soon as they walked on stage I burst into tears.First time I had cried from that original day. So grief, it can seem weird m, but it's usually nornal in how it manifests differently people]