Am I saying what I want to?
I don't write as much as I used to. This is the first that is longer than a phrase in quite awhile. I wrote it down in late August or early September. I was searching for words and in my 2nd and 3rd try, I felt like I was relying too much on the thesaurus. I went back to it today and tried again. I know what I want this poem to say. What are you getting from it? Thank you for your opinions.
The morning fog creeps in like years
a looming murk
dimming far hills from my sight
I see my flowers, yard, neighbors, the sunlit morning
details sharp, fresh, but in the distance
that expanding shroud obscures some distant hills
The sun shines gentle light around me, doesn’t halt the relentless swell
Fog born of the river
Slowly embracing the sky, the far trees, the fields, the homes
every detail I loved
every image I needed to understand where I was going
is carelessly erased
as the fog grows to its full immensity and like time, becomes forever and eternal.
Almost sacred.
Drifting to me, dissipating as it nears, I could pretend to touch it, reach fingers out like God and Adam, but even so, I won’t understand the gift I had, the gift the fog will take.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I write things out so it feels right, but I'm not sure if what feels right is the best way to go 