I hope that everyone here is having a decent enough day.
I would never act like it was 'great!' because there is so little that is anymore.
My day is not going well, but those tend to be the 'regular' days. They vary between 'meh' and 'flirting with complete ruin and destruction'. The complete lack of joy in my life is really wearing me down. I just cannot find it anymore. One can say what one wishes about the effort, or the fact that I may be missing things because I am not seeing the joy I front of me. Any suggestions could be it. But, the bottom line is that I am so empty. I have nothing to look forward to, because there is nothing to look forward to in my life. I am on the 'deathwatch', in that I am doing the one thing I swore back in my twenties that I would never do, and would rather die than doing so.
Well, here I am. Too far gone to feel anything and too much of a coward to actually do the thing that would solve the entire situation. No one wants to have anything to do with me and I guess I can't blame them.
The chest pains are growing worse. So are a few other medical issues that I cannot hope to afford to address. That is assuming that there would be a 'medical profession' to go to, which I am beginning to doubt more and more. Their goal was to make it so expensive that only the rich can afford it. They succeeded. The culling is happening and we don't seem all that interested in doing much about it.
One gets tired of talking to walls. That is all I seem to be able to do. As much as this may sound like I am being ungrateful and negative, although I enjoy the online personalities that I meet and interact with, they cannot replace being in the same room as another person and having a chat. I have not done that in over ten months now. No one will visit, because there IS no one to visit. My husband is so deeply addicted to his phone and computer now that he never wants to talk, or even sit without having that thing in his face.
I have been replaced by something that has batteries. How insulting is that?
Anyway, I hope you all are having a decent day and I hope that tomorrow will being another decent day. 
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