Long story short, my daughter is 33, has schizoaffective disorder and is in a mental healthcare center
and has a legal guardian who I have never met or spoken with who has forbidden me to have contact with her. I have never met the woman nor spoken with her and have never been given a reason for the no contact order. The place where she is at is just 40 miles from me and the times she was there before (this is her 5th time) I would visit her every weekend and most times we would have a 4 hour pass. I would always remind her to respect and obey the staff and I always had her back on time.
I have not seen her for 2 years now when all of their life it had never been more than 2 months (I was never married to her mother yet always visited my daughter regularly and for holidays and birthdays, even when I lived hundreds of miles away.)
So I was not allowed to talk with her on the phone except for a couple of times when she managed to get a hold of a phone on her own. When she was moved up to the next unit where she was allowed internet access and she found she could send texts online with her mp3 player (I never knew you could do that). So we communicated that way for a year. Our second to the last email was in June when she said everything was going fine and she should be moving on soon. At the very end of June it was a short message where she just said, "I love you". Then nothing since for 6 months.
Over a year and a half ago I learned that things I had sent to her from Amazon never had the sender's name with them so I could send them anonymously except to her because I sent her something nearly every week that she would know were from me. They were always accepted my the mental health center, never refused or returned so I assumed she was still there since packages delivered by Amazon were signed for by them often with the signer's name and Amazon would notify me of the delivery. Some packages were delivered by the USPS, so I assumed they would legally need to be delivered.
When she was at this place before she was always allowed to open her own cards and packages herself even if she was not allowed to keep them in her room.
My question (at last): How do I know my daughter is receiving the things I have sent her? Over the many months it has added up to hundreds of dollars and everything was food, snacks, and other gifts that I would know she would like and know they were from me. Plus, by their accepting these things it would indicate to me she was still there although it has been 2 years now and she had never been there for as long as a year before going to a group home where she would have her own phones and computer and have her own access to contacting me because they certainly could not deny her access and contact with me for the rest of her life.
Any ideas? Because my heart is breaking although I'm happy that she is safe and warm and being cared for because many mentally ill at this time are homeless and in desperate shape. Thanks for reading this far.
TIA
= new reply since forum marked as read
Then work to get it overturned.
Good luck.
of the facility where she is living? One idea might be to explain the situation to the staff, especially if you have a pre-existing relationship with anyone there, and ask them if your packages are being received. I'm sure that does not violate any laws.
My heart goes out to you. This situation, as you've explained it, seems very sad and frustrating. (Maybe there is something I'm not grasping).
But the bigger problem, IMO (and I know nothing about the legalities, but I'm responding as a human being) is you should have a right to know why you are being denied contact and how her guardian was appointed. Was the guardian appointed by a judge? On what basis?
The real issue: Does your daughter want contact with you? What changed between the time you had good contact with her and the prohibition against contact? If it by your daughter's request, why did she make this decision? Or was it made on her behalf by her guardian or someone else? Was she convinced by a therapist or attorney that this was in her best interest? If so, why? Maybe she does want contact with you but was talked into a no contact order by someone else.
It would drive me crazy not understanding what had changed, or who made the changes. You are exercising great restraint and patience IMO.
The safest, most delicate way to go about this might be to hire a lawyer with some experience in family law. But I also don't see anything wrong with making inquiries by sending letters by registered mail, to the facility with questions you have about the things you are sending, and any other questions you have that do not invade her medical privacy. Then I would inquire with the Guardian and the system by which the Guardian was chosen. I just don't know how it is possible this happened without her parent being involved in some capacity--it's not your fault, but it just seems very wrong that the system did not involve you and keep you fully informed.
Anyway, I'm so sorry to read that you are in this current situation.
I hope you can get some answers. You absolutely deserve them!
for you and your daughter. I know your struggle with a child with mental illness 
