Ever wonder why you are still alive

[I_UndergroundPanther]

I am alone all the time except for two days a week for an hour or so.


Trapped here because of unreliable public transport and no way to get out of this county. My world is the size of an apartment.

I go out and I'm friendly but not overly so.

People out here don't socialize with others in public. A second of small talk if you are lucky. This town is so fucked up. I would never recommend anyone to move here.

[Walleye]

1. I can relate. I am alone 95% of the time. At least I can still get around but I wonder how long

[CountAllVotes]

3. lol!

I just posted the same thing not 10 seconds ago.

We all want to know how long we will last!

Hang-in there Walleye!

[CountAllVotes]

2. I often wonder that myself

I guess what I really would like to know is how much longer will I last?

What can I expect in the future being I have MS?

My husband died recently. Looking back on that relationship, I can see how he had made damn sure I had very few friends. He didn't like me to get phone calls. He did not like people coming over to the house. He was an isolationist.

I'm not.

I understand where you are at Underground Panther and I for one am glad you are here.

Message me any time at all.

Take care friend,

CountAllVotes

[CousinIT]

4. Yep.

Living alone has so many advantages. And...disadvantages if you don't have close family or friends. All my family are MAGAts. Some of the most willfully ignorant people I know, sadly and embarrassingly.

[Walleye]

5. Nobody ever told me about the upside of lonely

I like this sentiment https://m.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

6. Sorry you're lonely Panther. FWIW, 'people' are overrated anyway afaic (nt)

[Paper Roses]

7. I understand what you are posting. I'm in a similar boat.

I'm 80 years old, I am in fair health but I don't get out much any more. So many of my old friends have moved or have died. I feel lucky I'm still around. Small family, all of state. Ad to that, I've been a widow for 15 years, so much for the savings. Mostly gone in a effort to keep the wolf from the door.

I was a volunteer at a charity for 7 years, my last paid job quickly ended with the company moving from MA to Alabama. I was 65 at the time and could not find a new job because I didn't have the necessary skills for today's market even with a college education. I liked the volunteer job but health issues recently have made it necessary to resign. Now I wonder what to do with my days. Funds are very limited so I can't go out to fiddly around.

Old age stinks. If it wasn't for my kids and grandchildren, I would give up all together. I keep plugging but am scared to death. If you live in a small but affluent town, you might understand. 2/3 of the population of my town has no problem spending money on so many things with no recognition that there are those of us for whom these expenditures will be a hardship. Social Security goes nowhere.

Never in my life would I expect the current situation..maybe I'm just too old to understand. Best to all "old timers" who are facing this situation.I seems that some have too much and are not really affected, then there are the rest of us........

[XanaDUer2]

8. This is me

Mr X is home, but bedridden. My shrink tells me to go to a park or ymca.

[elleng]

9. SO sorry.

I never wonder about that, and tho I live alone, don't feel trapped. Have a car, and whenEVER I do grocery shopping, my primary social exercise, there are ALWAYS friendly people there.

[Genki Hikari]

10. I'm alone most of the time.

My husband works weird hours, so sometimes he's home long enough to spend some time with me. And sometimes he has to go to bed as soon as he gets home because his work stupidly scheduled his next shift only 10 hours after he got off work. And then the next day he's so exhausted from the upheaval, he sleeps most of the day.

You get out even more than I do. I'm trapped because I have so many risk factors for COVID that I'm still wary of going out in public, even vaxxed and masked. I just can't take the risk of getting it. Dying, I could handle--I mean, what choice would there be? It's long COVID that terrifies the bejesus out of me, so I stick to home.

As for days of wondering why I'm still alive...?

I quit wondering about that sometime in my 30s. I'm alive because, well, what's the alternative? Life sort of became putting one foot in front of the other, and just getting on with it. Nobody said it was going to be easy or fun or a laugh a minute. Just getting through this one day or even this one moment of time, without making a colossal mess of things--that became enough. I learned to appreciate something so small as getting through a day without f'ing up my life.

I also find things to get into that take me outside of myself, even if they're silly, shallow things like finding a cool new nail polish. I do creative writing. I journal. I go on binges of finding and reading, say, only books about 14th century France, or Japan in the 1950s. Or only murder mysteries written by lesbians. Or finding weird music--one time I went on a binge of hunting down Algerian pop music videos on Youtube. Yeah, it's a thing.

These little things keep me occupied and happy. I realized at some point that I find my bliss by making my bliss.

[OldBaldy1701E]

11. Every single moment of every single day.

I am so alone. My beloved husband works nights and I have to be awake during the day. So, we seldom see each other except to say 'hi/bye'. After six years, I just stopped trying to meet people around here because they do not want to have anything to do with me. I am certain that my husband would be better off were I to pass on, and no one else is even going to miss me. Why I am taking up space is a mystery that I cannot fathom. It makes no sense and is not logical. It is not even sensible nor is it 'better' this way.

[Ziggysmom]

12. I feel lonely at times, spend most days working from home and taking care of the husband. When

I do make the effort to get out and connect with other people, when it's over, I feel it really wasn't worth all the effort. The best times I have now are with our two cats. Grateful Thanks to The Creator for our fur babies. Give Othello an extra big hug and feel the love ❤️

Glad you are back on DU.