I feel a little better. My sister finally gave me the validation of my experience.
As you may (or may not) remember, our father was a dictator. Authoritarian. Black-and-white thinking. Cruel. Used my sister to attack me when he couldn't. He tried to dictate our lives, esp. me. He was bent on destroying my spirit, if not altogether destroying me. Because I resisted him.
Yesterday, I was on the phone with my sister. And twice, she called me a survivor. And that pleased me because I am.
Now that Dad's dead, she's had a few years to review our shared experiences within our family and I detect some regret and contrition on her part. She hasn't articulated it directly but she's stopped arbitrarily attacking me, my choices, etc. Her words are obliquely an apology. And I accept that. We can't undo the past, but we can move on.
I don't know about you, but being recognized for your core identity is a bonus. I already knew I was/am a survivor and I'm damned proud of it.
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I have unresolved issues with both of my older sisters. I’m so glad you are able to find some peace.
