Small Talk

[SleeplessinSoCal]

It struck me recently that I'm no good at small talk since my hubby passed away last year. I didn't worry about that until now. My brain seldom has room for anything but trumpian politics. I started researching for techniques. I'm posting a list. Seems the #1 suggestion is to project positivity or actually be positive. Therein lies the rub.

https://socialself.com/blog/make-small-talk/

[rsdsharp]

1. That reminds me of radio. The number one rule for being a radio personality is "Be yourself."

The number two rule in many places is “Don’t be negative — ever!”

Uh, my highs range from depressed to suicidal. Now what?

[debm55]

2. Dear SleeplessinSoCal. We would love for you to share with us. jokes. music, everyday things.is what brings us to the

Lounge. Childhood memories of television, books, etc. Politics can get overwhelming. You can relax here, you can share to your hearts content, as long as it is within the Terms of Service. You are loved. Look over what others have posted. May the memories of your dear husband be a blessing to you. Love, Debbie.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

6. Thanks for the ideas.

I thought it a good topic for conversation.

I actually moved to England in my mid twenties in part to force myself out of my shell. (Also to study voice). But to try to learn the gift they have for conversation. Nothing more social than going to the pub with fellow musicians after studying all day. And there was the benefit of alcohol, which helped almost everyone.

[LogDog75]

3. If you watch talk show hosts

You'll recognize many of the techniques you posted. Back in the 70s, a friend of mine (we were both in our early 20s) had the knack of talking with anyone on any subject. He did a lot of listing and would ask followup questions. I realized back then what he was doing was similar to an interview.

I'm not much for small talk but I try to imitate him and use the same techniques. Five years ago, I attended my 50th high school reunion and I was at a table with other who weren't actively engage with everyone else. One of them was one of the popular kids back then. I asked what he'd been up to since high school and he opened up. I started asking followup questions, pretending I was interested, everyone in the group talked for the next 30 minutes about where we had been and what we had done.

Of list of techniques you posted, I'd say the two most important ones are to ask open ended questions and to listen two-thirds of the time and speak one-third of the time.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

4. I think getting to the positive vibe is tricky right now.

That makes everything else difficult. And I'm just not a people person, My hubby was though. Its a great quality I just don't have. I do ask questions, but I'm really bad at remembering answers.

Thanks for your input.

[Figarosmom]

5. That's a good article.

But yeah I see the rub. Or even the wanting to get to know them part, when all you want to do is pass the time pleasantly.

[SleeplessinSoCal]

7. couldn't have said it better.