The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsDo you have any regrets in life?
You know, things you wish you had done differently?
I have two:
1. I wish I had gone to Woodstock. I was 14 at the time and heard about this incredible music festival. My best friend and I were considering hitchhiking from Detroit to New York for it. We chickened out, thinking our parents would kill us.
2. I wish I had gone to India. The same buddy and I took a year off college and hitchhiked around Europe. We were in Istanbul and were thinking of going overland to India. This was 1976 and one of the few times in history that the countries we would travel through weren't at war. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. Should have done it. Oh well.
And you?

DiverDave
(5,077 posts)1st grade teacher. Everybody loved her.
I did too. But I went a different way.
I met, and married, someone else.
Yeah, I regret that.
NNadir
(35,591 posts)...by a children's author, Jean Ingelow.
"I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered."
DiverDave
(5,077 posts)2 great son's out of it.
Thier mother? Not so much.
But I am happy with my guys.
JMCKUSICK
(1,925 posts)Bluethroughu
(7,156 posts)I had written down earlier at work, instead of going home and taking a quick nap, only to wake up as the lotto was pulling the numbers, getting them all, searching my pockets for my ticket, then figuring out I never made it to the gas station to buy it.
That depressed me for a year, and wasted my time, but it all worked out as it should. My life was never as rich as it is today, and I would have never met my husband or had my family if I had won.
skypilot
(8,995 posts)...in the end. What you initially described sounds like a nightmare to me. I've written down numbers that I've wanted to play but I don't follow the drawings enough to know if I've ever even come close. I most likely haven't but I wouldn't want to know otherwise.
Bluethroughu
(7,156 posts)I threw all the contents from my purse on the floor, I thought I bought it...but I was so exhausted I passed out in my work clothes on my bed, with the TV on, woke up to see them picking the numbers...saw the numbers, and knew they were the ones I specifically chose.
When I realized I never got back up after I took a nap and did not stop before, I was broken...it was millions. It makes me smile and my eyes water a bit.
KarenS
(4,906 posts)Married too young. Three children. Didn't go to college. I could go on and on.
Except the kids part.
Also, never learned a musical instrument.
Srkdqltr
(8,249 posts)But i can't change things now, just go on. I just look ahead.
Paladin
(30,148 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(9,898 posts)Last edited Thu Apr 17, 2025, 03:00 PM - Edit history (1)
I was bullied as a young girl, and I mistakenly thought that bullying someone else would make me feel better about myself. I was very wrong, and I regret doing it. I wish I could go back in time and undo it.
True Dough
(22,712 posts)It's about how I treated some people while young. I can see the immaturity from a mile away now and I'm ashamed by it. It doesn't consume me, but I think about it now and again.
P.S. I'm still immature, but in a different way. You'll know that if you read my posts here.
Dave Bowman
(4,994 posts)
multigraincracker
(35,446 posts)any changes I would have made could have changed this.
Srkdqltr
(8,249 posts)FalloutShelter
(13,264 posts)Common sense.
I did not realize until too late that I was getting through the right doors with the wrong people.
More than one big break burned.
Live and learn.
catbyte
(36,752 posts)They said it would be too hard for women to get work in the field. If it were me today, I'd tell them to fold it in 5 corners and stick it where the sun don't shine, lol.
But my life has worked out pretty well regardless.
NNadir
(35,591 posts)That random event was meeting my wife.
If I knew that I could change something and still have her, I would do what my son is doing, have become a nuclear engineer. I love chemistry - I really do - but in offering service to humanity in these times, nuclear engineering would be it.
MichMan
(14,883 posts)Before I was married, maybe a couple of younger love interests that my shyness at the time held me back from pursuing. Been married for 38 years, so can't say it didn't work out just fine otherwise.
Changed majors in college and wondered how my career would have been different had I not done so. As a result of changing, I delayed any possible graduation, which ultimately meant that my degree was earned several years later from a different school after going at night. Still ended up earning a degree, but would have liked to graduate from the first one with my friends. Now I did meet my wife in between, which ended up being the best decision I ever made.
Worked in a field I wanted, but in a role that at times wasn't very fulfilling. Managed to stay employed my whole career and earned a decent enough living, so could have been worse.
Also, there was a local sports figure I enjoyed watching as a fan, who had a small business in my home town. Never went over there as I didn't want to bother him. After he retired from competing, I was able to become friends with him, and wish I would have taken the opportunity to do that years earlier.
samplegirl
(12,896 posts)all these years. All my friends left after High school and found better jobs and places to live.
TommieMommy
(1,822 posts)redstatebluegirl
(12,650 posts)My Dad talked me out of going to law school. He then bullied me into marrying my first husband, big mistakes.
Rustynaerduwell
(753 posts)learned how to type.
That's about it.
Wounded Bear
(61,728 posts)Life goes on.
CanonRay
(15,194 posts)Hopefully in the next life!
Fla Dem
(26,509 posts)niyad
(123,238 posts)walkingman
(9,083 posts)First 10 years it was great - now it's a POS. Often wonder what would have happened had I chosen Oregon.
SWBTATTReg
(25,168 posts)It's how well you live that life that really counts.
snowybirdie
(6,021 posts)Is the Pope Catholic?
surrealAmerican
(11,608 posts)I was bullied a lot, and lived for years just trying not to be noticed.
LiberalLoner
(10,929 posts)JMCKUSICK
(1,925 posts)about self esteem until I was well into adulthood. More a yearning than regret. Regretting not knowing who I was as a child. Too afraid of abuse.
stillcool
(33,632 posts)through to where I am.
Midnight Writer
(23,702 posts)In my case, mostly young ladies.
I played the tough guy, the cool guy, the aloof guy, the smart guy, the fun guy, the daring guy.
All along I should have just been myself.
Pinback
(13,152 posts) especially at 4 a.m.
Over the years Ive tried to focus on gratitude for my many instances of good luck (including narrowly avoiding certain death at least four times that I can remember).
I am also grateful for all the times I dodged the temptation to do something wrong, stupid, or destructive and instead practiced restraint.
I dont mean to hijack your thread, and I hope this response doesnt come across as sanctimonious, but this is the way I see it.
Even the things I strongly regret missing out on could well have been disasters if Id gotten what I wanted at the time. Not getting the girl(s) of my dreams to fall for me? Failing to pursue the hot job or go to the right school? Not traveling here or there, not learning this or that language? Sure.
But I think I agree with the writer George Saunders, who said his greatest regrets are about times he failed to be as kind as he could have been. This blog post by James Clear includes a transcript of his remarkable 2013 Syracuse University commencement speech elaborating on this thought:
https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/failures-of-kindness-by-george-saunders
NNadir
(35,591 posts)Diraven
(1,357 posts)I was painfully shy for a long time when I was younger. Never really put myself out there or did things I really wanted to do, instead of playing it safe and avoiding conflict.
Dulcinea
(8,222 posts)I always wanted to be a drummer, but as a suburban kid in the 70s I had never heard of a girl being a rock drummer.
Pinback
(13,152 posts)This is a Peruvian box drum thats not terribly expensive and is easy to play. There are traditional ones that you sit on and play by leaning over and hitting the front with your hands (but they can make your back sore after a while if youre not careful), and nowadays there are laptop or slaptop versions, as well as smaller boxes that hang around the players neck.
I know an exceptional drummer who uses a slaptop cajon instead of a traditional drum set on gigs.
Eko
(9,064 posts)Most lesson places have 2 drumsets for you to learn on. Feel free to message me if you want to do this I can prob help.
kimbutgar
(24,844 posts)I went to school to get a BA and my friends went to a MRS degree. I knew on the honeymoon I made a mistake. But luckily I escaped by not getting pregnant ( which my Mother constantly reminded me to take birth control pills). But fate puts you in different places and A year later I met the guy who saw me across the dance floor and he was patient with me and we dated for 3 years and the next month Ill be married for 36 to my best friend and husband.
surfered
(6,207 posts)Then we should have moved to a bluer state of foreign country before we got to old.
LiberalLoner
(10,929 posts)Comrade Citizen
(331 posts)I was held back and did the "right" thing by staying in high school until age 20.
I was told I would be a failure if I quit, but the school just wanted the money allocated to an enrolled student.
Clouds Passing
(4,357 posts)rickyhall
(5,115 posts)Eko
(9,064 posts)Not that I think I did/do a bad job, but I could damn sure do a lot more.
LudwigPastorius
(12,197 posts)Let's just say that, if I want to die without any, I better get off my ass and do something about them now.
LogDog75
(393 posts)I've looked back at my life on a number of occasions and asked my "What if I ....what would the result be." I'd have different outcomes which would have had a ripple effect throughout my life. There are things could have done or accomplished, places to go, people to meet, as well as times when I could have done something different. Sometimes it's just plain luck that got me through and sometimes it way luck that avoided me. In the end, everything we've said, did, or didn't do has brought us to this point in time; the person we are today.
I don't dwell on my past decisions, good or bad, because I can't change past decisions and expect a new outcome. There are too many variables in our lives that would alter our personal timeline as well as the timelines of others. It's a variation of the Butterfly Effect where a butterfly in China flaps its wings causing the air around it to move eventually causing a hurricane on the opposite side of Earth. We change someth8ng in our life might mean we don't meet someone which affects their life and as a result affect another person's life and so on.
So, no I don't have any regrets and I content with my past and my present.
ProfessorGAC
(72,298 posts)I traveled the world for my job.
I played in actively gigging bands for 30 years (over 2,000 gigs)
I got a good education in multiple disciplines.
We recently celebrated our 45th anniversary.
I retired to an income higher than what I made for working.
No complaints from me.
UpInArms
(52,587 posts)I had called my dad
had just watched a movie about t cullin Davis
lived in Amarillo during the trial
but looked at the clock and decided it was too late to call
He died during the night
.
Should have made the call
ETA
Its never what I have done that I regret
always what I did not do.
Since that time, I have made a conscious effort to never put off those calls or visits
life is uncertain, live it while you can
1. Not joining the military straight out of high school
2. Not making more of an effort with that girl I liked so long ago
OldBaldy1701E
(7,669 posts)Most being that I should not have listened to certain people over the years.
Some that are related to me. Sigh.