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bif

(25,152 posts)
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:08 AM Thursday

Do you have any regrets in life?

You know, things you wish you had done differently?

I have two:
1. I wish I had gone to Woodstock. I was 14 at the time and heard about this incredible music festival. My best friend and I were considering hitchhiking from Detroit to New York for it. We chickened out, thinking our parents would kill us.

2. I wish I had gone to India. The same buddy and I took a year off college and hitchhiked around Europe. We were in Istanbul and were thinking of going overland to India. This was 1976 and one of the few times in history that the countries we would travel through weren't at war. Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. Should have done it. Oh well.

And you?

56 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Do you have any regrets in life? (Original Post) bif Thursday OP
Its about a girl. DiverDave Thursday #1
I'm an atheist but I nonetheless live by an axiom put forth... NNadir Thursday #18
I did get DiverDave Thursday #24
That's absolutely adorable DiverDave. JMCKUSICK 14 hrs ago #52
I wish I had bought the lotto ticket, from the numbers Bluethroughu Thursday #2
I'm glad that things worked out for you... skypilot Thursday #25
I was depressed for two years... Bluethroughu Thursday #44
oh yes,,,, many,,,, KarenS Thursday #3
Me too! Beatlelvr Thursday #7
Lot's and lot's of regrets. Mostly people i didn't stay closer to and places i didn't go. Srkdqltr Thursday #4
Plenty. (nt) Paladin Thursday #5
I regret the way I treated some people when I was younger. Mad_Dem_X Thursday #6
This is it for me as well True Dough Thursday #13
I was going to post something similar, same regrets about being mean to others. Been bullied as well as a kid. Dave Bowman Thursday #27
Nope. In a good place now and multigraincracker Thursday #8
Thats true. Never know if one thing changes how everything will change. Srkdqltr Thursday #21
I regret I was not able to temper my ambition with FalloutShelter Thursday #9
Male professors talked me out of majoring in Geology when I was a freshman in college. catbyte Thursday #10
Any regrets I have are offset by the fact of a somewhat random event in the life I led. NNadir Thursday #11
A few as I tend not to think about what might have been. MichMan Thursday #12
I regret I stayed in Ohio samplegirl Thursday #14
Yes moving to Florida in 1979, should have stayed in Connecticut TommieMommy Thursday #15
Doesn't everyone? redstatebluegirl Thursday #16
If I could go back in time and change anything i would have Rustynaerduwell Thursday #17
Hell, I remember some bad calls I made umpiring Little League baseball games... Wounded Bear Thursday #19
A pile of them, too many to list here CanonRay Thursday #20
Yes, of course. Fla Dem Thursday #22
To this day, I regret not running over phyllis schlafly when I had the chance. niyad Thursday #23
Got transferred by my employer to Texas in '74. I had a choice between Texas and Oregon. walkingman Thursday #26
Not really. I'm one with the belief that the life you do end up living is the one you were meant to live. SWBTATTReg Thursday #28
Ha!!!!!!!! snowybirdie Thursday #29
I regret not having the courage to be myself as a child. surrealAmerican Thursday #30
🤗🤗🤗💙💙💙 LiberalLoner Thursday #39
I don't recall a single meaningful conversation JMCKUSICK 14 hrs ago #53
No regrets. Amazed I've made it stillcool Thursday #31
I regret the time and energy I foolishly spent trying to impress other people. Midnight Writer Thursday #32
I'm very good at tallying my regrets Pinback Thursday #33
Thank you for that. It was beautiful. n/t. NNadir Thursday #47
I regret not taking more risks Diraven Thursday #34
I wish I had learned to play a musical instrument. Dulcinea Thursday #35
May I suggest the cajon? Pinback Thursday #41
Go take lessons. Eko Thursday #46
Marrying my first husband because all my friends from college were getting married kimbutgar Thursday #36
First, I should have voted 23,000 times for Hillary in the swing states in the 2016 election surfered Thursday #37
So many regrets. I wish I had spent more time with my Mom and I am sorry for every time I made her sad as a kid. LiberalLoner Thursday #38
Not quitting school at 16 to get a GED and start college at 17 Comrade Citizen Thursday #40
I regret not having my son's back enough. Clouds Passing Thursday #42
] should never have married. rickyhall Thursday #43
I wish I loved everyone more. Eko Thursday #45
Too many regrets to enumerate here... LudwigPastorius Yesterday #48
Can't think of any at the moment LogDog75 17 hrs ago #49
Thankfully No ProfessorGAC 14 hrs ago #50
I wish UpInArms 14 hrs ago #51
Yep. k_buddy762 12 hrs ago #54
Probably a thousand or more. OldBaldy1701E 11 hrs ago #55
Yes. My life. nt. Dem2theMax 8 hrs ago #56

DiverDave

(5,077 posts)
1. Its about a girl.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:22 AM
Thursday

1st grade teacher. Everybody loved her.
I did too. But I went a different way.
I met, and married, someone else.
Yeah, I regret that.

NNadir

(35,591 posts)
18. I'm an atheist but I nonetheless live by an axiom put forth...
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 10:09 AM
Thursday

...by a children's author, Jean Ingelow.

"I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered."

DiverDave

(5,077 posts)
24. I did get
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 04:24 PM
Thursday

2 great son's out of it.
Thier mother? Not so much.
But I am happy with my guys.

Bluethroughu

(7,156 posts)
2. I wish I had bought the lotto ticket, from the numbers
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:23 AM
Thursday

I had written down earlier at work, instead of going home and taking a quick nap, only to wake up as the lotto was pulling the numbers, getting them all, searching my pockets for my ticket, then figuring out I never made it to the gas station to buy it.

That depressed me for a year, and wasted my time, but it all worked out as it should. My life was never as rich as it is today, and I would have never met my husband or had my family if I had won.

skypilot

(8,995 posts)
25. I'm glad that things worked out for you...
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:07 PM
Thursday

...in the end. What you initially described sounds like a nightmare to me. I've written down numbers that I've wanted to play but I don't follow the drawings enough to know if I've ever even come close. I most likely haven't but I wouldn't want to know otherwise.

Bluethroughu

(7,156 posts)
44. I was depressed for two years...
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:48 PM
Thursday

I threw all the contents from my purse on the floor, I thought I bought it...but I was so exhausted I passed out in my work clothes on my bed, with the TV on, woke up to see them picking the numbers...saw the numbers, and knew they were the ones I specifically chose.

When I realized I never got back up after I took a nap and did not stop before, I was broken...it was millions. It makes me smile and my eyes water a bit.

KarenS

(4,906 posts)
3. oh yes,,,, many,,,,
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:24 AM
Thursday

Married too young. Three children. Didn't go to college. I could go on and on.

Srkdqltr

(8,249 posts)
4. Lot's and lot's of regrets. Mostly people i didn't stay closer to and places i didn't go.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:26 AM
Thursday

But i can't change things now, just go on. I just look ahead.

Mad_Dem_X

(9,898 posts)
6. I regret the way I treated some people when I was younger.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:41 AM
Thursday

Last edited Thu Apr 17, 2025, 03:00 PM - Edit history (1)

I was bullied as a young girl, and I mistakenly thought that bullying someone else would make me feel better about myself. I was very wrong, and I regret doing it. I wish I could go back in time and undo it.

True Dough

(22,712 posts)
13. This is it for me as well
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:57 AM
Thursday

It's about how I treated some people while young. I can see the immaturity from a mile away now and I'm ashamed by it. It doesn't consume me, but I think about it now and again.

P.S. I'm still immature, but in a different way. You'll know that if you read my posts here.



Dave Bowman

(4,994 posts)
27. I was going to post something similar, same regrets about being mean to others. Been bullied as well as a kid.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:15 PM
Thursday

FalloutShelter

(13,264 posts)
9. I regret I was not able to temper my ambition with
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:51 AM
Thursday

Common sense.
I did not realize until too late that I was getting through the right doors with the wrong people.

More than one “big break” burned.

Live and learn.

catbyte

(36,752 posts)
10. Male professors talked me out of majoring in Geology when I was a freshman in college.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:51 AM
Thursday

They said it would be too hard for women to get work in the field. If it were me today, I'd tell them to fold it in 5 corners and stick it where the sun don't shine, lol.

But my life has worked out pretty well regardless.

NNadir

(35,591 posts)
11. Any regrets I have are offset by the fact of a somewhat random event in the life I led.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:55 AM
Thursday

That random event was meeting my wife.

If I knew that I could change something and still have her, I would do what my son is doing, have become a nuclear engineer. I love chemistry - I really do - but in offering service to humanity in these times, nuclear engineering would be it.

MichMan

(14,883 posts)
12. A few as I tend not to think about what might have been.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 08:56 AM
Thursday

Before I was married, maybe a couple of younger love interests that my shyness at the time held me back from pursuing. Been married for 38 years, so can't say it didn't work out just fine otherwise.

Changed majors in college and wondered how my career would have been different had I not done so. As a result of changing, I delayed any possible graduation, which ultimately meant that my degree was earned several years later from a different school after going at night. Still ended up earning a degree, but would have liked to graduate from the first one with my friends. Now I did meet my wife in between, which ended up being the best decision I ever made.

Worked in a field I wanted, but in a role that at times wasn't very fulfilling. Managed to stay employed my whole career and earned a decent enough living, so could have been worse.

Also, there was a local sports figure I enjoyed watching as a fan, who had a small business in my home town. Never went over there as I didn't want to bother him. After he retired from competing, I was able to become friends with him, and wish I would have taken the opportunity to do that years earlier.

samplegirl

(12,896 posts)
14. I regret I stayed in Ohio
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 09:14 AM
Thursday

all these years. All my friends left after High school and found better jobs and places to live.

redstatebluegirl

(12,650 posts)
16. Doesn't everyone?
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 09:34 AM
Thursday

My Dad talked me out of going to law school. He then bullied me into marrying my first husband, big mistakes.

Rustynaerduwell

(753 posts)
17. If I could go back in time and change anything i would have
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 09:49 AM
Thursday

learned how to type.

That's about it.

Wounded Bear

(61,728 posts)
19. Hell, I remember some bad calls I made umpiring Little League baseball games...
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 10:12 AM
Thursday

Life goes on.

walkingman

(9,083 posts)
26. Got transferred by my employer to Texas in '74. I had a choice between Texas and Oregon.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:13 PM
Thursday

First 10 years it was great - now it's a POS. Often wonder what would have happened had I chosen Oregon.

SWBTATTReg

(25,168 posts)
28. Not really. I'm one with the belief that the life you do end up living is the one you were meant to live.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:16 PM
Thursday

It's how well you live that life that really counts.

surrealAmerican

(11,608 posts)
30. I regret not having the courage to be myself as a child.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:19 PM
Thursday

I was bullied a lot, and lived for years just trying not to be noticed.

JMCKUSICK

(1,925 posts)
53. I don't recall a single meaningful conversation
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 07:51 PM
14 hrs ago

about self esteem until I was well into adulthood. More a yearning than regret. Regretting not knowing who I was as a child. Too afraid of abuse.

Midnight Writer

(23,702 posts)
32. I regret the time and energy I foolishly spent trying to impress other people.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:32 PM
Thursday

In my case, mostly young ladies.

I played the tough guy, the cool guy, the aloof guy, the smart guy, the fun guy, the daring guy.

All along I should have just been myself.

Pinback

(13,152 posts)
33. I'm very good at tallying my regrets
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:40 PM
Thursday

— especially at 4 a.m.

Over the years I’ve tried to focus on gratitude for my many instances of good luck (including narrowly avoiding certain death at least four times that I can remember).

I am also grateful for all the times I dodged the temptation to do something wrong, stupid, or destructive and instead practiced restraint.

I don’t mean to hijack your thread, and I hope this response doesn’t come across as sanctimonious, but this is the way I see it.

Even the things I strongly regret missing out on could well have been disasters if I’d gotten what I wanted at the time. Not getting the girl(s) of my dreams to fall for me? Failing to pursue the hot job or go to the right school? Not traveling here or there, not learning this or that language? Sure.

But I think I agree with the writer George Saunders, who said his greatest regrets are about times he failed to be as kind as he could have been. This blog post by James Clear includes a transcript of his remarkable 2013 Syracuse University commencement speech elaborating on this thought:
https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/failures-of-kindness-by-george-saunders

Diraven

(1,357 posts)
34. I regret not taking more risks
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:42 PM
Thursday

I was painfully shy for a long time when I was younger. Never really put myself out there or did things I really wanted to do, instead of playing it safe and avoiding conflict.

Dulcinea

(8,222 posts)
35. I wish I had learned to play a musical instrument.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:50 PM
Thursday

I always wanted to be a drummer, but as a suburban kid in the 70s I had never heard of a girl being a rock drummer.

Pinback

(13,152 posts)
41. May I suggest the cajon?
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 07:33 PM
Thursday

This is a Peruvian box drum that’s not terribly expensive and is easy to play. There are traditional ones that you sit on and play by leaning over and hitting the front with your hands (but they can make your back sore after a while if you’re not careful), and nowadays there are laptop or “slaptop” versions, as well as smaller boxes that hang around the player’s neck.

I know an exceptional drummer who uses a “slaptop” cajon instead of a traditional drum set on gigs.

Eko

(9,064 posts)
46. Go take lessons.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 09:28 PM
Thursday

Most lesson places have 2 drumsets for you to learn on. Feel free to message me if you want to do this I can prob help.

kimbutgar

(24,844 posts)
36. Marrying my first husband because all my friends from college were getting married
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 06:51 PM
Thursday

I went to school to get a BA and my friends went to a MRS degree. I knew on the honeymoon I made a mistake. But luckily I escaped by not getting pregnant ( which my Mother constantly reminded me to take birth control pills). But fate puts you in different places and A year later I met the guy who saw me across the dance floor and he was patient with me and we dated for 3 years and the next month I’ll be married for 36 to my best friend and husband.

surfered

(6,207 posts)
37. First, I should have voted 23,000 times for Hillary in the swing states in the 2016 election
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 07:05 PM
Thursday

Then we should have moved to a bluer state of foreign country before we got to old.

LiberalLoner

(10,929 posts)
38. So many regrets. I wish I had spent more time with my Mom and I am sorry for every time I made her sad as a kid.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 07:06 PM
Thursday

Comrade Citizen

(331 posts)
40. Not quitting school at 16 to get a GED and start college at 17
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 07:10 PM
Thursday

I was held back and did the "right" thing by staying in high school until age 20.
I was told I would be a failure if I quit, but the school just wanted the money allocated to an enrolled student.

Eko

(9,064 posts)
45. I wish I loved everyone more.
Thu Apr 17, 2025, 09:22 PM
Thursday

Not that I think I did/do a bad job, but I could damn sure do a lot more.

LudwigPastorius

(12,197 posts)
48. Too many regrets to enumerate here...
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 12:52 AM
Yesterday

Let's just say that, if I want to die without any, I better get off my ass and do something about them now.

LogDog75

(393 posts)
49. Can't think of any at the moment
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 04:32 PM
17 hrs ago

I've looked back at my life on a number of occasions and asked my "What if I ....what would the result be." I'd have different outcomes which would have had a ripple effect throughout my life. There are things could have done or accomplished, places to go, people to meet, as well as times when I could have done something different. Sometimes it's just plain luck that got me through and sometimes it way luck that avoided me. In the end, everything we've said, did, or didn't do has brought us to this point in time; the person we are today.

I don't dwell on my past decisions, good or bad, because I can't change past decisions and expect a new outcome. There are too many variables in our lives that would alter our personal timeline as well as the timelines of others. It's a variation of the Butterfly Effect where a butterfly in China flaps its wings causing the air around it to move eventually causing a hurricane on the opposite side of Earth. We change someth8ng in our life might mean we don't meet someone which affects their life and as a result affect another person's life and so on.

So, no I don't have any regrets and I content with my past and my present.


ProfessorGAC

(72,298 posts)
50. Thankfully No
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 07:24 PM
14 hrs ago

I traveled the world for my job.
I played in actively gigging bands for 30 years (over 2,000 gigs)
I got a good education in multiple disciplines.
We recently celebrated our 45th anniversary.
I retired to an income higher than what I made for working.
No complaints from me.

UpInArms

(52,587 posts)
51. I wish
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 07:33 PM
14 hrs ago

I had called my dad … had just watched a movie about t cullin Davis … lived in Amarillo during the trial … but looked at the clock and decided it was too late to call …

He died during the night ….

Should have made the call



ETA …

It’s never what I have done that I regret … always what I did not do.

Since that time, I have made a conscious effort to never put off those calls or visits … life is uncertain, live it while you can

k_buddy762

(51 posts)
54. Yep.
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 09:33 PM
12 hrs ago

1. Not joining the military straight out of high school
2. Not making more of an effort with that girl I liked so long ago

OldBaldy1701E

(7,669 posts)
55. Probably a thousand or more.
Fri Apr 18, 2025, 10:04 PM
11 hrs ago

Most being that I should not have listened to certain people over the years.

Some that are related to me. Sigh.

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