What's the funniest thing you heard a child say? AKA out of the mouths of babes/kids

[debm55]

Last edited Wed Dec 25, 2024, 06:44 PM - Edit history (1)

[genxlib]

1. My daughter once asked me to do something

But I was busy and told her I couldn’t.

So she asked me if I would do it for a Scooby Snack.

She was probably about 3.

[debm55]

2. Thank you very much , genxlib.

[Nanuke]

3. Twenty years ago my niece was 6 years old when she stayed at my house overnight. I had recently become a vegetarian.

When she went to school on Monday she reported to her teacher and the class that she stayed at her aunt’s house and that her aunt had recently become a virgin.

[debm55]

4. Oh my.Thank you Nanuke. That is very funny.

[Cirsium]

5. Here's one

My 7 year old niece and a couple of her friends were trying to set up some sort of circus act with a piece of plywood as a ramp from which they would launch themselves on their bikes, or that was the idea. Everything was going wrong, of course. Finally my brother said "sweetheart, what you are trying to do is impossible." My niece wheeled around, put her hands on her hips and said "Daddy! We know it's impossible. We're doing it anyway!"

[debm55]

7. Very sweet. Thank you Cirsium.

[applegrove]

6. My sister was driving by a hospital that had a helicopter

Last edited Thu Dec 26, 2024, 12:00 AM - Edit history (1)

pad on the roof. Her 6 year old asked what it was for. My sister explained what a helicopter was, only to have her 4 year old say "that is how they get the dead people up to heaven".

[debm55]

8. That is so sweet. thank you applegrove.

[Lunabell]

9. My brilliant patient.

Last edited Wed Dec 25, 2024, 08:56 PM - Edit history (1)

Four years old and very precocious. I asked her if someone opened up her head and poured in a bunch of brains. She answered chirping, "Nope. Just one little brain!"

Omg, she is precious.

[debm55]

11. Oh thank you for sharing. Lunabell.

[Stargleamer]

10. Hi, Deb, I don't know if this is the funniest. . .

But "he's going to be HUUUUUGE!" is pretty funny at @:2:23:

Also, "He might murder my mom!" at 2:49 was pretty funny too. California kids in Hollywood sensed what was coming 8 years ago.

[debm55]

12. Thank you very much . Out of the mouth of babes--I laughed at all of them TY for posting.

[ultralite001]

13. Perhaps not funny, but certainly profound...

My 5-ish-year-old niece once informed me, after a long afternoon of coloring, that we “should play slower so the day will last longer”…

Been following her instructions ever since…

Merry Christmas, y’all…

[debm55]

15. thank you very much ultralite001. That makes so much sense. Relax and enjoy life. She is very wise. Merry Christmas

[XanaDUer2]

27. Love this

[keithbvadu2]

14. Sometimes a serious word.

We babysat a young kid for a weekend. He was just learning words. I said a word I should not have said. He picked it up like it was gold. Accurately too. We spent the rest of the weekend trying to unlearn that word. He learned it very well.

[debm55]

16. HAHAH. Kids pick up things very quickly. They don't what they mean, so for them it's something new they have learned.

Mery Christmas, keithbvadu2

[keithbvadu2]

17. Yeah! They recognize that this new word gets some attention.

[debm55]

18. Very true.

[OldBaldy1701E]

19. I have a somewhat similar story.

Back in the day, I worked at a school and I used to sit for these two sets of brothers. The older two were best friends and so the younger two were friends as well, but it was more that they were kind of forced together because of the visits by the older two. They were also at that age where they were starting to use swear words. They usually did not seem to understand proper usage, however, as they would just toss out a few without really knowing how to use them. They knew I was not a prude, but I also had a responsibility to uphold certain behaviors, so they would push it a little and try to act as if they were not doing it on purpose. The thing is, when they used them in the correct manner, I was not as strict on their using them. Saying 'F**k that sh*t!' because you were mad and had a bit of an outburst is one thing. Saying it just because you wanted to sound cool to your friends was another thing entirely.

Anyway, I was sitting for one set (the blonde ones) and we were playing some AD&D that I was running. The older boy was around 11 and the younger one was 8. Their characters were trying to fake their way through a guarded door. The younger one was the one doing the talking at the moment, and I was asking him what his character was going to do. The older one started in trying to get his brother's guy to attack the guard. The younger one was trying to play his person as more discreet and careful, so he was not listening to his brother. The older one just would not stop. Finally, the younger one looks up at him and says, "I DON'T GIVE A SH*T ABOUT THE F*****G GUARD!"

I had to excuse myself to the bathroom where I held my mouth shut and laughed for a good three minutes. After that, we had a little chat about appropriate language. But, not about grammar. I felt he had used them correctly.

[debm55]

20. Thank you OldBaldy1701E boy you had you hands full with those two. I like your reaction to the situation

[pansypoo53219]

21. my uncle's young son loved the word kerfuffle when i said it.

[debm55]

24. Thank you very much pansypoo53219 That's funny

[pansypoo53219]

22. eons ago when on the way into disney(barf), mom + aunt asked my younger brother to name the 7 drawfs.

it stopped when he said sleazy.

[debm55]

25. Thank you very much pansypoo53219

[A HERETIC I AM]

23. A home my parents owned had a large sliding glass door...

Separating the main part of the house from the “Florida Room” and the panels were quite heavy.

My sisters daughter, my niece who was maybe 3 at the time was trying to open the door but couldn’t budge it. She is clearly visible through the glass door. After trying to open it for a bit, she bangs on it and loudly exclaims;

“Let me in, let me in, it’s only me!”

[debm55]

26. Thank you A HERETIC I AM---very sweet.

[Aristus]

28. Me to my three year-old grandson:

“What are you going to do in Sunday School today?”

Grandson: “Play with puzzles and have sex!”



My step-daughter: “ Baby, say ‘snacks’. Say ‘snacks’!

[debm55]

29. HAHAHHAHAHAHHA/ Thank you Aristus. That is funny.

[3catwoman3]

30. This is a favorite memory from when our younger son was about 3.

He came home from daycare with a picture made by putting paint on one half of a piece of paper and then folding it in half to make a mirror image. It was a big red blob with a little green smudge on top.

Forgetting that you are never supposed to ask a child what they’ve drawn or painted, but rather say, “Tell me about your picture, I said, “Taylor, what’s that a picture of?” I fully expected him to say it was an apple, because tat’s what it looked like to me. 🍎

In a wonderful example of the concrete thinking of young children, he replied, “It’s a picture of paint.”

I still have that “picture of paint.” The artist is now 32. I can’t bear to throw it away.

[debm55]

33. Thank you very much, 3catwoman3. How wonderful of your son. It's so nice that you kept it.

[TommieMommy]

31. Years ago when my husband was using the table saw our grandson said wow grandpa you are making lots of wood crumbs.

After that sawdust became wood crumbs 😁

[debm55]

34. So sweet. Thank you for sharing your post with us.

[DeepWinter]

32. My daighter

very recently potty trained, was sprinting from the living room through the kitchen and I asked her what's up?

"I gotta let the evil out!."

On her way to the bathroom to go poo. We still use that phrase.

[debm55]

35. OH how cute and sweet. thank you DeepWinter for sharing