Snark: I'm a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas by Nancy Matson

[AStern]

You’ve probably wondered about me, the independent thinker in your social network. I’m one part libertarian, one part populist, and one part common sense. I care about the same things you do: a backyard BBQ with my neighbors, my family’s safety, and the sanctity of women’s collegiate swimming.

I’m a maverick who can’t be pigeonholed. I listen to not only smooth jazz but slightly less smooth jazz. I’ve been red-pilled, but I think The Matrix was just okay. I voted for Trump, but I respect Democrats like John Fetterman who are willing to reach across the aisle to promote ethnic cleansing. And I’m still a Bernie fan, even though I openly mock AOC and Elizabeth Warren for subscribing to 90 percent of the same policies, for reasons, I assure you, I will never ask myself a single hard question about, because I’m not bound by your restrictive mental framework.

While I approach every topic with an open mind, I see so many of my peers stuck in a black-white dynamic—words I hate to even say, because they only divide us further. I don’t see color, which is not without its challenges. Navigating the world based on hues and saturation levels means holding up lines when picking out ice cream flavors, not always knowing how angry I am when I see a flag in a public setting, to say nothing of knowing how to proceed at a traffic light. Not that I’d ever suggest special accommodations; if a few pedestrians have to perish for me to exist in this pure state, that’s a price I’m willing to have them pay.

I get my news from a broad variety of sources. I follow not only Elon Musk directly but also outlets that screenshot his posts without analysis. I scour major news outlets for op-eds that don’t contain lefty catchphrases like “upending the global economic order” or “threatening our national security”—only until I’ve reached my free article limit for the month, since paying for journalism only encourages more bias. I even posted a Rachel Maddow clip one time where a guy interrupted her to explain why she was wrong.

Cont: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-a-free-thinking-centrist-with-only-right-wing-ideas

[NoRethugFriends]

1. In other words, a moron. (not the poster, though don't know why she would post this crap on this site.

[Mister Ed]

2. It's satire.

To spell it out: Not all Trump voters are MAGA cultists. Some are vain libertarian-leaning sorts who like to congratulate themselves on their "independence". The author of the piece is calling those Trump voters on their bullshit.

[AStern]

3. I figured writting SNARK would have been an apropriate signal that it was satire...

but alas.

[NoRethugFriends]

5. Yikes. Sloppy me didnt't look at it closely at all.

Mea Culpa, hangs head in shame.

[AStern]

7. It has happened to me as well

[Paladin]

4. As usual, satire and rightwing douche-bagging don't mix.

Thanks for the confirmation.

[AStern]

8. TBH

I've seen a few users on this site that could have written that sincerely.