Trump Solves California Water Crisis, Will Next Claim To Have Put Out Fires By Himself

[Zorro]

Our big boy president continues saving America in his head.

A few weeks back, when parts of Southern California were engulfed in wildfires – we just checked the calendar and realized it only feels like 17,000 years ago – America's wet-brained big boy president had a genius idea.

Firefighters battling the blazes in the Pacific Palisades reported that they were running out of water. This was due to the fires being so huge that they overwhelmed Southern California’s firefighting infrastructure. The nearby reservoirs were mostly full, but the amount of water flowing from hydrants (and burned homes) all over the city and county led to a catastrophic loss of water pressure. The fires were simply a worst-case scenario beyond what pre-climate change infrastructure was designed for.

But Donald Trump had a solution. There was plenty of water in the Pacific Northwest. All California needed to do was turn a giant spigot, and all the beautiful water from Oregon and Washington would flow to them, and then everyone would have enough water forever and ever, hallelujah. And the only reason the liberals in California had yet to turn the spigot on is because they are a bunch of radical Marxists who care more about fish than they do people, and also they hate TRUMP. Obviously.

Which led to this announcement from Trump’s TruthSocial account on Tuesday:


Wait, “beyond?” Where else does he mistakenly think this water comes from? Because it certainly is not coming from the Pacific Northwest, let alone … Canada? The Yukon? The Aleutian Islands?

https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-solves-california-water-crisis

[stillcool]

1. I just can't

but you can read about it here:

https://bsky.app/search?q=California+water