Before the Stopping Starts (menopause)

[niyad]

Before the Stopping Starts (menopause)
PUBLISHED 3/2/2024 by Lizzie Roberts
Things will get weirder and weirder before your period stops—something every woman should know before the stopping starts.



(suteishi / Getty Images)

Maybe it was around the time your mother took up flamenco dancing. She might have cut off her hair and dyed it purple, or started dressing like Stevie Nicks. Maybe she divorced your father or came out, embarked on a serious relationship with yoga or ceramics. Whatever she was up to, it was clear something was going on. But no one was going to talk about it—at least not in public. You might have overheard a whisper: the Change. The Change sounded like one of those black-and-white horror movies. I had to make the wire coat hanger antenna touch the windowsill for Channel 50’s Creature Feature to come in. Soon a monster would appear in the doorway with yellow fangs, brittle claws and wiry hair, asking if I wanted to join her for a performance of her friend Deborah’s avant-garde marching band.

My grandmother thought she was dying when she got her first period. We were watching The Thorn Birds on TV, shoulder to shoulder in bed, when she told me that she had been away at boarding school and no one had told her a thing. I knew it wasn’t fatal, but menstruation was still tinged with shame in the 1980s, when I was in middle school. Ads for ‘sanitary protection’ featured blue liquid poured from beakers. With clandestine glances, we checked one another for spots on our pants, passing tampons and pads with elaborate handshakes. We used the euphemisms “on the rag” or “time of the month.” But whatever our mothers were going through—if we had perceived it at all—was unmentionable.

While periods are out in the open now, The Change is still a monster hiding in the dark, creeping up on many women silently. I didn’t think I was going to die, but for a while, I thought I was losing my mind. Perhaps the invitation to Deborah’s avant-garde marching band was my mother’s way of trying to tell me something back then. I was too busy singing along with “Like a Virgin” to listen. And unless it happens to them, the whole business is still a bad joke to most people, like the women ‘of a certain age’ frantically fanning themselves in sitcoms. I had imbibed the misogynist notion that The Change makes women become “difficult,” but all I really knew about menopause before I hit 40 was that hormones and hot flashes were involved.

. . .






If you’re not one of those unicorns, you might supplement your supplements by demanding action from your gynecologist. There will be patches and gels, pills, and yes, more herbal tea. Eventually you will get used to the weirdness and make it your own, just as you did with your period, because there was no other choice. Then something else will happen. You will begin to notice a large chunk of the world, nearly invisible until now: an army of cool, older women, the ones who have emerged on the other side and flourished. In their eyes you will catch a glimpse of the person you want to become. You will do away with pretense then, giving up whatever is keeping you from beginning to live the rest of your life. And this is where the flamenco dancing might come in.

https://msmagazine.com/2024/03/02/menopause-perimenopause-period-stops-older-women-aging/

[1WorldHope]

1. Thanks for posting that, I will share it with my 43 years old daughter.

[niyad]

4. You are most welcome. I would very much be interested in her reaction.

[SheltieLover]

2. K&R

Ty!

[niyad]

5. You are most welcome.

[littlemissmartypants]

3. There's a great documentary recently produced for PBS called The M Factor.

It's really elucidating. I highly recommend it. You have to be a member to watch it in its entirety though.

Trailer:
https://www.pbs.org/show/the-m-factor-shredding-the-silence-on-menopause/

The first documentary film that addresses the marginalized or ignored health crisis faced by millions of women as they go through menopause.

The M Factor: Shredding the Silence on Menopause
10/17/2024 | 56m 5s
Video has Closed Captions|
CC

The first documentary film on the health crisis faced by millions of women going through menopause.

Aired 10/17/2024 | Expires 10/17/2025 | Rating TV-14

https://www.pbs.org/video/the-m-factor-shredding-the-silence-on-menopause-uwesx6/

❤️

[niyad]

6. Thank you for sharing this. Would you consider posting it as its own OP,

for greater visibility on this most important topic.

[littlemissmartypants]

7. More about The M Factor

https://www.tamsenfadal.com/content/where-to-watch

Free downloads

https://www.tamsenfadal.com/free-resources

About the
Empowering women in Midlife and Menopause
You probably know me as a journalist, an author, or your big sister on social media. But, at my core, I’m a storyteller, sharing true tales of hope and resiliency. Here’s mine.

https://www.tamsenfadal.com/about

The Menopause Movement

There is a movement happening across the globe; women in menopause are sharing their experiences more openly than ever before and creating conversations with real impact. These conversations are shining a light on the lack of menopause awareness among women, and even among doctors. Extensive interviews show that women's menopause-related complaints are not only being dismissed by doctors, but doctors aren't even given the training they need to help these women.

I am a filmmaker behind The M Factor, Shredding The Silence on Menopause premiering October 17, 2024 in advance of World Menopause Day on PBS. The documentary highlights both the varied experiences of women going through menopause, including women's personal experiences, and features leading experts in different areas of menopause health, including ob/gyns, endocrinologists and neurologists. These experts provide a comprehensive overview of the many ways that menopause can impact women and how doctors can help women during this stage of their lives.

We produced the documentary to help women better understand what they are going through and advocate for themselves.
But it is not just a film, it is the start of a movement.

❤️

[niyad]

8. Thank you so much forr this. In "Vagina Obscura", we learned that even ob/gyn's

do not fully understand female anatomy, particularly the reproductive/sexual area.. So it comes as no great surprise to learn that they are as clueless, ignorant, and uncaring about menopause as they are everything else related to women.

[littlemissmartypants]

9. Absolutely my pleasure, niyad. ...

It was astonishing to learn from watching the documentary how ill prepared physicians are on the subject. Just more evidence that women are always getting the short end of the stick where our health care is concerned.

As usual, I'm taking this opportunity to say how disappointing the patriarchy is and how sick to death of it I am.

❤️