Oh, how f*cking PRECIOUS. Couch Effer says Saint Chucky was stolen from us, but his new baby was given. GROUP HUG!

[Miles Archer]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/vance-credits-charlie-kirks-assassination-for-his-new-baby/

Vance says the assassination of Charlie Kirk is the reason he and First Lady Usha Vance decided to have a fourth child.

Vance made the revelation in an excerpt from his forthcoming book that was obtained by the Wall Street Journal, in which he referred to the 31-year-old Kirk as his “best friend” in politics.

“As my wife held Charlie Kirk’s widow on the first day of her terrible sorrow, Erika told Usha between sobs that she regretted having only two kids with Charlie,” Vance writes.

“For years, I had asked Usha to have another baby, and for years she had told me she was done—especially now that public service had elevated us into the national spotlight. But something changed for Usha, and not long after we buried my friend, she became pregnant with our fourth child, a boy.”

“I don’t know why God does things like this,” he continued. “But I am grateful to Him that there will soon be another source of joy in our lives.”

[underpants]

1. What a shape shifting pandering asshole.

[Miles Archer]

15. Reminds me of this classic cartoon.

?si=uF25VZhRHO0vRQ6F

[underpants]

25. ❤️

I used to be able to that voice spot on.

[vapor2]

2. Omg. These misfits need serious therapy

[The Madcap]

3. So is he blaming God for killing Kirk

or for allowing it to happen? Talk about passing the buck...

[Miles Archer]

8. He's not sure why God does things like taking the magnificent Saint Chucky from us

I have a list of things that makes me wonder why God does certain things, and Chucky is not on that list.

Basic rule of thumb is that when something happens that the MAGAts want, like an abortion clinic being closed, God did that, so praise Allah, y'all.

But when it's the very important work of Saint Chucky being halted, they don't know why God allowed it, but hey...Vance's baby is a consolation prize.

It's at moments like these, I feel, that the crystal clear reality of "We are not them, and they are not us" is driven home.

[3catwoman3]

19. They believe everything is god's will, right.

Soooooooo...

[OMGWTF]

30. My husband and I used to spend a lot of time volunteering at a local food bank.

There was a local family with a fkton of kids who were clients and would hang out there a lot. The dad washed dishes in a small cafe to support his big family. They were poor AF but kept having kids. One day, my husband asked them why they kept having babies they couldn't afford, and the dad said that it was God's will. No mofo, it's your GD DICK that is causing that. Fidots!!!

[Luz]

4. Will his name be Charles Kirk Vance??

[ms liberty]

36. That's what I'm thinking.

[Ms. Toad]

5. Barf. n/t

[Hope22]

6. He needs to keep his personal boogeyman thoughts to himself!

His head is full of mush and we pay the price!

[Cheezoholic]

7. Going for those 500 Turning Point votes. He's gonna run with a Baby Charlie n.t

[Intractable]

9. I think Usha saw the extensive, on-stage embrace between JD and Erika, and then gave JD an ultimatum.

It's often the case that after the "ultimatum," another child is conceived.

That's how my baby brother, now 56, came to be.

My parents then had a proper divorce some years later.

[struggle4progress]

10. "Hearing about a murder always makes me horny"

[Ocelot II]

11. Oh, barf.

Reading that glurge made me want to yack up my breakfast. Once again Vladimir Futon shows us what a smarmy phony he is.

[CTyankee]

13. OK you got me with "Vladimir Futon." That was truly inspired!

[Ocelot II]

14. I can't claim credit, but I don't remember where I found it.

It amuses me greatly, though.

[underpants]

26. Got me too

[mwmisses4289]

28. vladimir futon!! 🤣

[odins folly]

12. Eat crap couch humper

No one likes you, go away.

[Norrrm]

16. Is Vance looking for a proper white wife as befits his republican high status?

MAGAs are not keen on non-whites.

Comforting the grieving widow. 'Oh, Charlie, I miss you so much.

Link to tweet

[OMGWTF]

32. At least as a recent widow, she was wearing the appropriately colored skin-tight leather pants.

Republicanism is a mental illness.

[3catwoman3]

17. Eewwwww.

[Jilly_in_VA]

18. I think I'm gonna...

[IzzaNuDay]

20. They gonna name him Charles Kirk Vance?

The EWWWWW factor is strong. I need to go

[karynnj]

21. Do you buy that Charlie Cook was his best friend in politics?

Will Peter Thiel be jealous?

Not to mention, when he died, Kirk was 31 and seemed to be surrounded by people younger than him as he led a college age program. Vance was 41 years old.

Kirk was a dropout in his first year at Harper College, which is not even a 4 year college. Vance went to Ohio State followed by a law degree at Yale. Ignoring that Vance does not seem to have a lot of friends.

In 2004, Politico had an article on Vance's inner circle. No Charlie Kirk. https://www.politico.com/interactives/2024/jd-vance-inner-circle-guide/. In August 2025, the Independent had an article on his best friends in MAGA - this was a month before Kirk was killed.- again he wasn't listed. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/jd-vance-maga-best-friends-b2811983.html

I wonder if Vance, in the wake of Kirk's death, wanted to be seen as his "heir"? If so, very sick.

[Miles Archer]

37. I think Vance is Thiel's sock puppet, and I also don't think Vance has ANY friends.

He just radiates creepy. Like the hundreds of guys we've seen in procedural cop dramas on TV...the detectives open the fridge in the suspect's home and are not prepared for what they find. That kind of thing.

[Traildogbob]

22. What brand of

Couch is the mother? Do they keep the plastic on the couches to not overpopulate the Vance Hurd?
Is Erika the actual mother and Usha just carrying the fetus to make a new Chuck?

[Vinca]

23. The thought these people breed is frightening.

[OMGWTF]

35. The even scarier one is Stephen "Goebbels" Miller and his wife who have four spawn.

[Diamond_Dog]

24. Oh puh-LEEZE.

This whole thing reminds me of that barfworthy song by Paul Anka “You’re Having My Baby.”

[LuckyCharms]

27. Vance is a disingenuous motherfucker.

[mwmisses4289]

29. I feel sorry for the kids. having parents like that.

[AverageOldGuy]

31. I knew JD was one wierd SOB . . .

. . . but this is the wierdest shit I ever heard of .

Hmmm. So -- when Trump dies, will Ms. JD get knocked up to produce a replacement??

[dave99]

33. wonder how many other women are in the background for V.D.

[interesting choice of letters]

[BeneteauBum]

34. It's amazing how people rationalize

There is only one way this woman got pregnant. Unless Vance thinks he is a god, it wasn’t divine intervention.

Peace o

[Layzeebeaver]

38. Joy... until...

Mom finds the couch cushions all stuck together when Dad is away.

[fargone]

39. First Lady???

[Miles Archer]

40. It's Trump's economy. Who can afford editors?

I didn't even notice that, but...yeah. Facepalm time.

[GiqueCee]

41. This weasel...

... has lied about his entire fucking life. Why should anyone EVER believe a word of his verbal vomit?