Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' Films
WASHINGTON—As he struggled to remember how his remarks on sending more troops to the Middle East had digressed into a tangent on the blockbuster movie franchise, President Donald Trump reportedly became unsure Monday how his rambling speech on Iran had veered off into a ranking of the Pirates Of The Caribbean films.
“The first one is undeniably a classic, number one with a bullet, truly the best,” the president said during a press conference, furrowing his brow as he tried to recall how his forceful rhetoric about the Strait of Hormuz had slowly given way to praise of Javier Bardem’s “totally underrated” performance in the fifth film of the series.
“Number two is either Dead Man’s Chest or At World’s End, hard to say, but Davy Jones—who’s actually a tremendous character, really great—Davy Jones made that franchise what it is. Unlike the crooked Jack Sparrow. I have all the DVDs. I have the best DVDs. You know, it’s a shame they stopped after five movies. If I got Jerry Bruckheimer and Keira Knightley in the same room, I could make a deal on a sixth. I’d do it in five minutes, maybe less.”
After agreeing to take a few questions from reporters, Trump responded to an inquiry about the Iran war’s timeline by humming Hans Zimmer’s iconic theme music from the films for three uninterrupted minutes.
https://theonion.com/even-trump-unsure-how-rambling-speech-on-iran-veered-off-into-ranking-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-films/
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