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My wife's just been diagnosed with lymphoma and now the doctors have said that it also could be leukaemia. This has been a "spectre" since early November, but the first diagnosis regarding Lymphoma only came in late January. The Leukaemia factor only just today.
One of the issues that she's facing is that this insidious disease has attacked her liver, her pancreas and her kidneys - and as a result of all these organs not working properly she's been inundated with high levels of fluids that as you can imagine has caused her to expand into something unbelievable.
They've tried to drain the situation - 11 litres of fluid in one evening - which is amazing but, as a result of that, she's under quite a different kind of stress.
I'm quite concerned. I don't know what to do because there isn't much I CAN do. The medical team is doing the best they can and so I can only hope for the best.
I do trust the system - I think that here in the UK it might be difficult to get care you need initially you know, if you have minor stuff. But if you really do have something serious, I have to admit, from my experience now, through this process, that the system is brilliant. Theyve attacked this like the SAS.
The teams are deployed, systems are focused, testing is allocated, and yeah, I think that if you are suffering from something like what my wife is undergoing, I now know that residing in a National Health care type system where you don't worry about it - they worry about it - It is actually good. From local doctors, emergency ambulance services, and multi-disciplinary teams, there has never ever been any comment or suggestion of a bill or payment required. Its amazing.
However, all that said, it doesn't necessarily give me much comfort because I'm still unclear as to how things are going to resolve.
We've been together since 2003 and we do everything together. And
There is no difference even in this situation - I wake up every morning
I work my way to the hospital
I'm there by her bedside every day for as long as I can whilst simultaneously trying to maintain my work because that has to happen too. And even after hours, we stay connected via text and email sometimes even all through the night.
The medical teams are quite sensitive. The nurses and nursing assistant teams are focused completely on her situation and her health but they also do have those moments when they ask me how I'm doing - which frankly, considering the fact that I am completely emotionally compartmentalised (so as to allow me to get through this) I deeply appreciate what they are doing and trying to do.
I only have a few friends locally here in the UK. My closest friends are back in my home state of Michigan. But everyone regardless of the global location is trying to be supportive.
So anyway, that's where I'm at now - it's a bit depressing, but I'm getting through the day-by-day. At least I have a client that is supportive, whatever you need, its least we can do. almost caused me to breakdown.
So, I'm going to pause here. Only to add that I just thought it would be cathartic for me too sort of reflect on where I'm at right now and the challenges I'm facing. Although I'm not a frequent original poster on DU, I do try to stay engaged and read and understand what's going on and I know that others have posted regarding their own personal issues with health, food and other things and the community support has been wonderful to witness.
I thought I would just at least share some of this and allow a bit of release to occur.
Hopefully I can find some balance.
Anyway, thanks for reading. You don't have to comment, you don't have to respond, you dont have to rec.
It doesn't matter
just writing this is probably enough for the moment
thanks DU!
Joe.
mr715
(3,292 posts)malaise
(294,390 posts)Sending good vibes
Hope22
(4,564 posts)I hope they can find something to give your wife for some relief. Be sure to take care of yourself. Caregiving is is exhausting. Sending thoughts up that you find answers. 💗🙏🏼💐💗
SuzyandPuffpuff
(459 posts)Reach out you're amongst friends and colleagues that have "been there done that"...cancer of any form is insidious. Invasive. Cruel. Unrelenting. Your fam in the states stand behind your and especially her. Sorry for you both. Cancer sucks
sinkingfeeling
(57,514 posts)Greywing
(1,164 posts)I know your wife is in good hands and there really is nothing anyone of us can do when our loved ones are struck except be with them.
You are a blessing and such a good person as you accompany your wife on her journey.
Ninga
(9,004 posts)task she has been handed. In 2020 I was diagnosed with Large B Cell Lymphoma that appeared to respond well to chemo with scans showing no evidence of the disease making me believe I was on way to remission. In 2023 I became ill and found that I had a totally different Lymphoma-FLL - treatable but not curable.
I will hold her in my thoughts, prayers and heart. I will pray for her doctors and their success in treating her. I extend warm hugs to you because of helplessness, worry and stress.
SheltieLover
(78,579 posts)niyad
(130,695 posts)calimary
(89,354 posts)You dont have to lift this load alone.
And MANY hugs!
MustLoveBeagles
(15,306 posts)a kennedy
(35,610 posts)Grim Chieftain
(1,453 posts)That's a tough diagnosis. If it is any comfort, one of my dear friends, who was also my major professor at grad school, was diagnosed with leukemia in his thirties and lived until his late seventies. He played tennis and golf for many years and lived a full, active life.
My husband's friend, also a professor, was diagnosed with lymphoma and lived into his late seventies.
There is hope. Please know you are in my thoughts and I am sending you and your wife positive vibes and good wishes.
SheltieLover
(78,579 posts)Not sure if this will be helpful, but I saw this new cancer treatment they are using at Vanderbilt for liver cancer & posted the article:
https://democraticunderground.com/11469899
I'm glad you both have adequate support, but please feel free to lean in on DU.
ret5hd
(22,367 posts)Nevilledog
(54,800 posts)Solly Mack
(96,694 posts)Dear_Prudence
(1,127 posts)That you two are going thru this. Your just being there to support her is a huge contribution to her well-being. Take care.
IA8IT
(6,384 posts)She was right.
Tears and Hope to Both of you.
bamagal62
(4,413 posts)My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma 2.5 years ago. He had to have lots of fluid removed 2x per week from around his lungs for months. He is now in remission. (He is still receiving rituximab shots and white blood cell boosters shots.)
Good to hear she has a good medical team. Take care of yourself. ❤️ Sending you and your wife love and positive energy.
Cancer sucks.
KitFox
(522 posts)watching the rest of the world go on around you and your world has come to a screeching halt. Please know how much we care and want you to come to us with your thoughts and feelings. This time nine years ago, I was at my husbands hospital bed every minute for weeks. My heart goes out to you! Sending strength and hopeful hugs your way. 🧡
AllaN01Bear
(28,987 posts)peacebuzzard
(5,845 posts)I will pray and light a candle in a very special sacred place during my upcoming travels on Ash Wednesday.
mountain grammy
(28,830 posts)Youre in my thoughts. Hoping for the best.
Fla Dem
(27,508 posts)All the best to both of you. Please keep us posted as you travel this terribly difficult path. We Care!!!
chia
(2,774 posts)mercuryblues
(16,269 posts)It is daunting the 1st few months. Trying to get the body adjusted to everything, then the real battle begins. I know this sounds odd but take care of yourself. If you don't you won't be able to be there for her.
Let me tell you about my Shrek legs.
After my first few Chemo treatments, I swelled up similar to what you described. My brother being my brother said...OMG Merc, you have Shrek feet. I thought the nurse was going to faint. I cracked up and looked at her and said, well he ain't wrong.
I was finally diagnosed with a Pseudomonas infection. I called it a Harry Potter spell. This bacteria is found in almost everything. When you are healthy you just slough it off. Not a big deal. When you get this sick the rules change.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/25164-pseudomonas-infection
One way to combat this and other infections in the future sounds odd.
A neutropenic diet. Boil drinking water. you can have have canned or well cooked fruits and veggies, not raw. Think applesauce, not fresh apples. The heat destroys the bacteria in your food.
more at:
https://www.mskcc.org/experience/patient-support/nutrition-cancer/diet-plans-cancer/neutropenic-diet
You guys will learn to live by test results and what you can do on your end to make it through this.
maliaSmith
(177 posts)I'm sending big hugs to both of you in your health journey. I hope it works out well for both of you.
pandr32
(14,017 posts)It is an awful ordeal, but don't feel defeated. Your devotion and daily presence means so much to your wife. You can fight this better together and hopefully she will be able to go home with you soon.
Sending hugs and hearts.
LoisB
(12,616 posts)you both through this journey and remain hopeful for a good outcome.
hamsterjill
(17,223 posts)Wishing you all the very best.
surfered
(12,452 posts)Their treatments involved chemotherapy and, in one case, stem cell therapy all at M D Anderson in Houston, TX.
The neighbor died of old age. The friend and Urologist are still kicking. So, dont give up hope.
❤️🙏
JoseBalow
(9,336 posts)I am in a situation very similar to yours, I understand what you're going through. Please remember to care for yourself.
niyad
(130,695 posts)hugggs, and remember we are always here.
IbogaProject
(5,715 posts)And good wishes on you both holding up emotionally. Please speak of the strengths of simply covering everyone and how it really smooths care in emergencies and with serious situations.
nocoincidences
(2,483 posts)If you need, you are among a large group of the most compassionate and helpful people you will ever encounter. All in one place!!
Deuxcents
(26,131 posts)For the best possible results so you can get on with your happy lives together. 🌺
gademocrat7
(11,853 posts)to you and your wife. Take care. We are with you on this journey.💙🤗
Joinfortmill
(20,553 posts)Buddyzbuddy
(2,345 posts)Speaking from experience, it sounds as though you're doing everything you can for her, just being present. It can be her greatest comfort. One bit of unsolicited advice, take a moment for yourself, to recharge. It's easy to become so focused on your wife that you forget to eat and rest. You might underestimate the stress that takes a physical toll on you.
I wish you both well.
Exp
(833 posts)cate94
(3,070 posts)You are both going through this. Cancer is hard.
godsentme
(223 posts)Healing light and peace to you both. 🙌
highplainsdem
(60,975 posts)It sounds like your wife is getting good care, and I hope to hear she's doing better soon.
As was mentioned above, it's important that you take good care of yourself, too.
We're here for you.
RussBLib
(10,475 posts)Shes probably better off in England than back in the states, considering the healthcare systems, and especially with he-who-shall-not-be-named in office.
Waves of healing.
brer cat
(27,456 posts)Stay strong and positive, and spend as much time as you can with her. It truly makes a difference.
stage left
(3,245 posts)Big hugs to both of you to help pull you through.
J.
bdamomma
(69,360 posts)Layzeebeaver, and your love. We are here for you.
HeartsCanHope
(1,570 posts)Sending healing vibes and much love to your wife, you, and your families. You will all be in my thoughts.
Figarosmom
(10,661 posts)Where care isthe top priority. Just take it day by day and make each day the best you can. Best wishes vfor you both.
niyad
(130,695 posts)possible outcome. Know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need. There is always someone here.
hugggggggggs
area51
(12,600 posts)My prayers & thoughts are with you and your wife. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome.
UpInArms
(54,512 posts)Hoping for a good outcome for your wife and that you stay strong
My virtual arms are around you
Marie Marie
(11,079 posts)MLAA
(19,692 posts)summer_in_TX
(4,071 posts)Especially when it's the one you love most in the world. Your devotion is heart-warming. I so hope and pray for the best for you and for her, Joe.
pnwmom
(110,225 posts)My sister is in that same in-between stage of lymphoma and leukemia. They're also looking at her thyroid.
I hope you have family there to help you through this. At least your wife's in the hands of a health care system that you trust. (My sister is also fortunate to be living in a city with excellent care. And I guess Medicare here is as close to NHS as we get.)
The best of luck to you both!
QueerDuck
(1,263 posts)barbtries
(31,237 posts)I'm so sorry your wife is so sick. Please keep us posted. You have DU always. Sending positive thoughts for a positive and speedy resolution.
lark
(25,969 posts)Thankful your wife and you are in England, where you are obviously getting topnotch and QUICK care - which is often not the case here!
Playingmantis
(564 posts)Our friends son is 14 and he has lukemina..and he is doing well..AS WILL YOU AND YOUR WIFE..
Clouds Passing
(7,577 posts)AKwannabe
(6,887 posts)Nigrum Cattus
(1,259 posts)ProfessorGAC
(76,213 posts)My mom had a form of blood cancer (actually the opposite of leukemia) for 25 years.
The infusions held it remission for a LONG time.
When she did pass, that illness is not what did it.
So, don't give up hope.
NNadir
(37,613 posts)I am glad you and your beloved are working in a decent system of care in which you have confidence.
We all wish you the best outcome under the weight love brings.
AltairIV
(1,015 posts)TygrBright
(21,331 posts)It's a tough challenge.
So glad you have a good medical team, and it sounds like you're approaching things with as constructive an outlook as possible. It's a very difficult journey, but stay conscious as much as possible that you and your wife aren't alone.
As well as the medical team, you have friends, and this community is here for you.
When suddenly "normal" includes a Big Awful Thing it can feel as though that's the only part of "normal" you can focus on. But it's also helpful to stay conscious of the rest of "normal", and especially where your friends can help with that as well as giving you a place to 'release' the tension.
Even just sharing a walk or a coffee and talking about 'other stuff' for a while (what's going on with them?) can be like a mini-vacation from The Big Awful. Lean into it as needed, and don't feel guilty.
And yeah, when you need to 'release' those feelings of sadness and anxiety, we're here.
Stay strong.
supportively,
Bright
JokeHer
(43 posts)I know Ive been there. Sending a lot of positive energy your way. Be sure to take care of yourself as well!
rustysgurl
(1,097 posts).. it sounds like she is getting good care and they are thinking of you as well.
