No One Sure Why Kristi Noem Wearing Firefighter Helmet, Night-Vision Goggles, High Heels, Wet Suit

[orleans]

https://theonion.com/no-one-sure-why-kristi-noem-wearing-firefighter-helmet-night-vision-goggles-high-heels-wet-suit/
nice pic at link that i can't copy (webp file)

Published:

June 16, 2025
WASHINGTON—Racking their brains as they tried to determine the express purpose of the homeland security secretary’s outfit, sources confirmed Monday they were not sure why Kristi Noem was wearing a firefighter helmet, night-vision goggles, high heels, and a wet suit. “Huh, that’s odd, but there must be some kind of reason for it, right?” said one of the sources, who frowned as they took in the sight of the overdressed DHS chief adjusting the quiver of arrows she wore over her back. “We’re in a conference room, but maybe she’s going somewhere afterwards? But where exactly would that be? I don’t remember any of the previous homeland security secretaries wearing that, but maybe I just wasn’t paying attention?” At press time, Noem was reportedly putting on a ghillie suit.

added this to enhance content of post ( lol )



AI overview:
A ghillie suit is a type of camouflage clothing designed to resemble natural surroundings, making the wearer appear like foliage or other elements of the environment. It's essentially a suit covered in loose strips of fabric, twine, or other materials that mimic leaves, twigs, and other vegetation. This helps to break up the human silhouette and conceal the wearer from view.

[Buns_of_Fire]

1. King Taco has "interesting" tastes in his dominatrixes.

So long as his cult (and the American taxpayer) agree to pay the extra, I suppose it's okay, according to the Supreme Court. Just one of the perks of his presidency.

[Duncanpup]

2. We will all know in two weeks.

[0rganism]

3. Phew, it's The Onion. That's a relief, I guess. Reality is doing so much to destroy parody these days...

Why does the descent into fascism seem so much cleaner and more energetic from the outside?

[Celerity]

4. pic

[orleans]

6. thank you. i used to do a screen shot off my computer, then put it in "paint" and crop it, save it, then post it.

i can't do screen grabs from this laptop so....
thanks for posting it.

(how did you get the pic?)

[Celerity]

7. I just right clicked the pic, copied the link and pasted it, after I trimmed off the ? and all after it

this (I did a snapshot of it to show you):



trimmed to this:



yields this:




you can also use

https://imgur.com/

or

https://postimages.org/

[orleans]

9. thank you! it worked!

[MiHale]

5. Bad Borg cosplay...

[sarisataka]

8. Has no one else ever had to fight a fire in the dark at a formal function held underwater?

It's more common than you may think

[orleans]

10. LOL! guess the onion never thought of that! LOL! nt

[Dulcinea]

11. Uniform fetish?

That's a strange kink, but it's out there. It takes all kinds, I guess.