Just How Formulaic Are Hallmark and Lifetime Holiday Movies? We (Over)analyzed 424 of Them.

[dalton99a]

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2023/12/23/upshot/hallmark-lifetime-christmas.html
https://archive.ph/7GYgU

Just How Formulaic Are Hallmark and Lifetime Holiday Movies? We (Over)analyzed 424 of Them.
By Alicia Parlapiano
Dec. 22, 2023

The Hallmark and Lifetime networks are known for their prolific output of made-for-television holiday movies each year. Even in the age of streaming, they bring in impressive cable television ratings, perhaps aided by how easy they are to leave on while, say, baking several batches of gingerbread for a tree lighting ceremony.

They also have something of a reputation for following a very specific story line: A recently dumped, high-powered female executive from the city finds new love, purpose and appreciation for Christmas in a small town with the help of a handsome local fellow.

But how much does that formula hold up across the hundreds of holiday movies released since 2017 by Hallmark and Lifetime? Based on data from IMDb, internet recaps and our own viewing, our answer is quite a bit! With some caveats. Here’s what we found.

...

[Wounded Bear]

1. Jeez, you'd think after all that stress somebody would at least score some sex...

[mitch96]

49. What do you expect.. It's hallmark..Closest you can get is the "after one year" shot and she is pregnant. nt

[Hotler]

2. Boring, not a single entitled Karen scene in the bunch. Needs more tantrums.

[Hugin]

4. There were some spoofs made a couple of years ago...

They were charming in their own way.

[lame54]

48. Were they on HallTime or LifeMark?

[Hugin]

3. To be fair...

Any televised sporting event is also “formulaic”. Two teams meet, stuff happens, one team wins.

Full disclosure: My SO loves these holiday movies.

[nuxvomica]

5. I always figured they went like this...

A generically good-looking female returns to her hometown to either save the family business or start some boutique type store that wouldn't last very long in a small town where she is advised by much older relatives/friends played by people you might recognize from TV shows in the 80s and 90s, and she is helped by a generically good-looking guy who's good with tools and is later revealed to be the actual son of Santa Claus.

[NewHendoLib]

6. My wife and I can't go there - never watched one, never plan to.

Ugh. Give us a suspenseful dystopian thriller any day!

[JustAnotherGen]

40. Silent Night -

Has Kiera Knightly and the kid from JoJo Rabbit in it.

Just watched last night. Excellent Christmas Dystopian flick!

[Igel]

56. Ah. This is reductive. And boring.

Propp did the same thing a century ago. Yawn.

For dystopian thriller, look at the 60 years of his country after he published is Moprhology.

For the sequel, look at how a lot of that ideology spread west of Rhine.

[madaboutharry]

7. It isn't only Hallmark and Lifetime.

Even the Christmas movies and series in Europe follow this formula.

Netflix has a great series from Norway that ran two seasons. It is about a nurse in search of a boyfriend. The scenery is beautiful too.
It’s called Home for Christmas. In Norwegian with subtitles. Really delightful.

[Ocelot II]

19. I loathe romantic movies in general but I loved the "Home for Christmas" tv series,

mostly because it's so un-Hallmark-ish. The series is funny and quite bawdy, with scenes, dialogue and some weird characters that Hallmark wouldn't touch. I think I'll watch it again.

[madaboutharry]

51. Definitely too quirky for Hallmark!

[Zambero]

8. They are useful for putting brain cells on hold and "recharging batteries"

Nothing too deep or riveting. Very predictable outcomes, and if the particular movie is TOO boring, one can always catch a nice nap while it plays out.

[dalton99a]

10. +1. Just fast forward to the end. All is well. Nobody died. Nobody got shot. Nobody got nekkid.

[Aristus]

16. Nobody got nekkid.

Which I find profoundly disappointing in any film starring Catherine Bell.

[Ocelot II]

21. Check out the "Home For Christmas" series on Netflix. People get nekkid

and there's a lot more shagging than Hallmark will give you. https://www.netflix.com/title/81083590

[PlutosHeart]

34. I like

Holidate. It is almost the anti-Hallmark xmas movie. Funky, quirky, the sort of out there that I gravitate towards.

[Aristus]

46. I'm not sure how I could explain to Mrs. Aristus why I was watching all of those holiday movies.

Even if she wasn't aware of the nature of the content.

[Ocelot II]

53. It's in Norwegian, so just turn off the subtitles and she won't know what's going on

except for the parts where people are nekkid and/or shagging.

[Hugin]

12. Napping during one of these can be dangerous...

Once there was one on and I fell asleep and woke up at exactly the same plot point in a subsequent movie.

I was like, “Wait, weren’t they trying to save his aunties hotel?” To which all of the holiday movie wonks around me said in unison, “No, they’re saving her family’s cafe.”

It messed me up for a week.

[lonely bird]

25. This

This is also the superhero movies (I grew up reading Marvel comics). They are brain candy. Something to watch while putting the brain on hold. When I watch I am not looking for deep meaning. If I want that I will watch a “film”.

They serve a purpose. Odd, though that Scorsese hasn’t bitched about Christmas movies.

[sarisataka]

9. I always figured they had something

Like a Madlibs book for their scripts. Just fill in the blanks and voila, make a movie.

[hunter]

11. If you are too drunk or otherwise incompetent to write a passable Christmas romance...

... maybe you can write a horror movie.

Halloween is big business too.

[OnlinePoker]

31. Halloween romance...that's the ticket. n/t

[Coventina]

63. SNL got there before you! :-)

?si=weCaZ0poeNx2noZ-

[OnlinePoker]

64. Can't see it outside of U.S. n/t

[skip fox]

13. ChatGPT comes up with this:

In the bustling streets of New York City, successful executive Isabella Hayes faces an unexpected twist of fate when she is abruptly fired from her high-powered position at a prestigious agency. Shattered and questioning her priorities, Isabella decides to return to her small hometown in Idaho, seeking solace and rediscovery.

Upon her return, Isabella reconnects with her past, including her former boyfriend, Jake Mitchell, who has just completed two tours in Iraq. Jake has found purpose and solace in working with a local charity dedicated to rescuing and rehabilitating abandoned dogs, helping them find new homes.

As Isabella and Jake navigate the complexities of their shared history, they find themselves drawn to a common cause—the well-being of the abandoned dogs in their community. Isabella, with her business acumen, decides to use her skills to support Jake's charity and make a meaningful impact on the lives of both the dogs and the people in their town.

Together, they face challenges that force them to confront their past, heal old wounds, and redefine their individual and shared dreams. The juxtaposition of Isabella's corporate background and Jake's experiences in the military adds depth to their character development, highlighting the resilience required to adapt to unexpected changes.

As they work side by side to save abandoned dogs and build a better future for their community, Isabella discovers a new sense of purpose and fulfillment outside the corporate world. Meanwhile, Jake finds healing and renewed hope in the company of the dogs and the woman he once loved.

In the heartwarming conclusion, Isabella and Jake's efforts with the charity not only transform the lives of abandoned dogs but also bring positive change to the entire town. "Resonance of Home" is a tale of rediscovery, love, and the transformative power of compassion that transcends the boundaries of career and military service.

[skip fox]

14. Here was my prompt:

Suggest a story in which a female executive is fired from a high-powered agency in New York, returns to her small Idaho town where her former boyfriend, just having completed two tours in Iraq, is working with a charity to save abandoned dogs.

[Srkdqltr]

15. All the same actors too.

[Talitha]

17. My 71 year old husband plops down on the couch and watches that crap every single day!!!

The titles are nauseating: "Christmas This" and "Christmas That". And they're on all year long, not just during the holiday season. Quite a few years ago, I caught him doing a name search on the computer for one of those 'Hallmark Honeys'. He'd typed in her name and then added 'nude photos'. What a filthy pig.

[Silent Type]

18. I call it "Sap." My Lady Friend watches these and some home building shows. I watch along while surfing net.

[XorXor]

20. Lol. My parents love those things

From Nov through Jan those are always on at their house. I was jokingly mocking this observation about them last I was there. They agreed, but they still love them.

I find it even more hilarious (maybe confusing), because there seems to be a few actors that do a lot of these. Same role, just a little different.

[jimfields33]

22. Good overview

I think they are fine. Two channels out of 800 to chose from. There are channels or streaming stations for everybody.

[Grumpy Old Guy]

23. It's all propoganda.

Small town = good, big city = bad, small business = good, big companies (unions) = bad.

[Xavier Breath]

39. That plus a woman can't be happy and fulfilled

with her big-city career and friends and instead needs a man to rescue her and provide her with children in a nuclear family for her life to have any real meaning.

[Ocelot II]

54. And also that you have to live in a small town with *real* Americans to have a good life.

[pinkstarburst]

24. They are formulaic just like romance novels are formulaic

but that's okay because that is exactly what their audience wants and expects. People who don't watch and enjoy those sorts of movies or read those sorts of books might say "eh, boring, too similar storylines, too predictable" or other criticisms, but they are not the target audience. The target audience LOVES this formula and Hallmark (and romance writers) knows it.

[yardwork]

26. As my mom descended deeper into dementia, things she used to enjoy upset her.

She wanted the TV on all the time, but anything violent upset her. I noticed that the Hallmark shows didn't upset her, so I asked the staff at her assisted living facility to keep her TV tuned to that channel. She wasn't really following it anymore but I think she found it soothing.

When I feel stressed I enjoy watching or reading genre with predictable plots and characters. Agatha Christie, old romance novels written in the 1950s, mindless TV shows. It's very comforting.

[Midnight Writer]

27. Where is the Christmas Tree Farm that is threatened by greedy developers?

[LisaM]

28. They mixed it up a little more this year.

There were several movies that added some different plot elements. I can't say they were that memorable but clearly they were trying for more variety.

They also did some on location. There was a Scottish one filmed in Scotland, a German one, a Paris one, and a couple more I haven't seen yet. They finally broke out of British Columbia!

[PlutosHeart]

36. Actually thought the Norwegian one was super.

Most of them stink but I agree the ones out of the US have been nicer.
I just want to know when they will be real and have the city woman go back home where she is confronted with her past FIVE ex-boyfriends all of whom have a child in tow. She then walks away from them all since there was a reason she broke up with them in the first place.

[OnlinePoker]

29. My brother works on the film crew for these productions

He says even the actors roll their eyes at how bad some of the dialogue is. For everyone working on these, it's just a pay check and they know there's no awards in their future for their work on them.

[NNadir]

30. This sort of makes me miss my late mother-in-law.

Whenever we visited her in her last years, she had one of these on.

I didn't really pay attention to them, but my impression was that they were all the same movie.

[appalachiablue]

32. 'Baby Boom' (1987) Diane Keaton, super yuppie

big city, single business woman inherits a baby.

She meets Sam Shepard, an available vet in small town Vermont where she moves and settles into motherhood and romance.

Leaving behind her big career she starts a successful new job as a baby food entrepeneur. At least it's cast well.
https://www.tcm.com/watchtcm/titles/17431

[PlutosHeart]

37. Loved that Movie.

Then again am a Sam Shepherd fan.

[heckles65]

38. A movie that takes place in Vermont

that was actually FILMED IN VERMONT.

[appalachiablue]

42. Good, I didnt know that. Vermont is nice, what I've seen.

[heckles65]

61. Damn nice!

Love it here.

[JustAnotherGen]

41. One of my favorites!

[Faux pas]

33. I don't watch

Hallmark movie and mystery channel after Halloween because of the fairy-tale xmas movies they play for two and a half months. I only watch that channel for the mysteries

[ProfessorGAC]

35. It's Pretty Accurate

My wife watches these movies constantly at Christmas time. She readily admits they're brain candy.
They're uplifting Christmas movies made for women. Ok by me.
One thing the analysis forgets though, if the movies they run are an obvious take on It's A Wonderful Life. Some don't have a "Clarence" and it's circumstances that make her realize her life is pretty darned good.
They usually don't get to a despondency near suicide to start things rolling. The movies try to stay lighthearted.

[NewHendoLib]

45. My wife and 2 daughters hate them as much as I do!

They are all grist for MST3000 treatment!

[tanyev]

43. The thing that always cracks me up is that these small towns

where everybody knows each other have the resources for a huge Christmas festival. Or the unbelievably picturesque Main Street goes on for several blocks and is filled to overflowing with Christmas trees and decorations.

I grew up in a small town of just under 5,000 people. You would go into a shop and know almost everyone who was shopping and working there. They had some town Christmas decorations and festivities, but nothing on the level that Hallmark creates. And there were no cozy coffee shops or diners when I lived there. Maybe they have some now, but there’s a reason I moved to a large city after I got out on my own.

[John1956PA]

44. These movies are usually filmed in Vancouver or Toronto.

It is a cottage (sometimes literally, depending on the movie's setting) industry for our friends to the north. As an aside, I will mention that I sort of like these movies, even if they basically portray fairytale stories.

[LeftInTX]

47. People watch them because they're good "background" movies

Most of the people I know who watch them have them on while they're working at home. Or they come home from work all grouchy and watch them to unwind.

I don't watch them, because I watch TV more intensely. I think they're better than real housewives, which is another common "unwind" form of TV.

[mitch96]

50. I had to suffer thru one the other nite and guess what!! NO HALLMARK FORMULA!! Most talk about

"Traditions" This one actually talked about GOD! Repeated some scripture also. Comments about the "beautiful" cross..
It always amazed me how Hallmark took "Christ" out of Christmas and replaced it with "traditions"
I'm not religious and I thought this was interesting..
My other gripe is when they try to be "fair and balanced" they show someting about Hanukah.
They portray every trope, cliché and groner in the book to portray a "traditional" Jewish household and relatives.. oy.. I really don't like these vids but to keep calm in the house......
m

[Renew Deal]

52. Thanks for saving me a lot of time.

I’ve officially watched all 424 movies thanks to this post.

[LakeArenal]

55. They forgot the part where someone/thing/ event/ misunderstanding breaks them up

Only to be save by the Christmas miracle/ Santa/ community spirit/relenting(employer, parent or child)

[muriel_volestrangler]

57. No, no, they're all individually crafted

Honest.



Sometimes the man is on the right! That does mean he has to be the one in red. We don't want to go mad.

[dalton99a]

58. +1

[Zambero]

60. Every batch of guacamole I've ever made is individually crafted

Same basic ingredients, but individually crafted nevertheless!

[wyldwolf]

59. That's funny, likely true (at least anecdotally) but at the same time...

I have zero f*cks to give because I have over a 100 channels and streaming apps to choose from. (but still find myself watching Friends and Big Bang Theory reruns.

[Elessar Zappa]

62. My mom loves them.

Hey, whatever floats people’s boats, right?